I am longing for longing’s sake
I’ve struggled to let my heart want
what it wants for so long that I’m going to
let whatever haunts it haunt me.
And fuck, I want so much.
there’s a man back east
mysterious and strange
fascinated by everything
I think he may have been thirteen the
first time I met Death
I want nothing less than his mind
but I want nothing more
and I think I’m fine with that.
There’s a woman in a hypothetical west
with slender hands and tapering fingers
come here? I ask her
and she walks through rooms older
than both of us combined
she walks home, despite the fear
through the years
she walks home
to me
I want afternoons and gold dust evenings
I want to let the world enchant me again
one song at a time
I want to be enthralled with what I have
and what I will have
and what I will lose
The world is not a dead place.
It is not made up of stark black and white.
I may be tired but Death has yet to find me
again
Until then, I make my way home
I will do what the man in the east did
what the woman in the west will do
And become fascinated with everything
again.
-Castor