Open Sorcery

The Secret Sorcerer Society
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My tiny cat has BETRAYED ME.

—

by

Ashley Halliwell
in
A shitty photo of the perpetrator herself and me from earlier this morning.

I am on the couch tonight because Zelda is crashing at Emerson‘s and my place and there’s no room in the bed, and tiny girl was keeping my spot warm. You’d think this was good, right? Wrong.

This utter baby farts like an ADULT CLYDESDALE.

I love this cat but JESUS HENRY CHRIST. My couch? Half ruined. My dreams? Probably gonna be nightmares. This absolute baby love farts like an adult HUMAN MAN. Her farts should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention as some form of inhumane biochemical warfare.

I wish I were kidding. Her farts need to be studied for science because they’re worse than Emerson’s and mine COMBINED.

Sheeeesh.

I’m going to attempt to sleep if I’m not faced with more cruel and unusual cat punishment…

-Allēna

Comments

6 responses to “My tiny cat has BETRAYED ME.”

  1. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    @opensorceryy what's she eating? I remember one cat I fostered had a very stinky reaction to a fishy wet food…I think it was the Tiki Cat ahi tuna canned food, but I can't say for sure. Another friend of mine found odors improved by switching up the dry food to something without corn or wheat.

    1. Ashley Halliwell Avatar
      Ashley Halliwell

      Purina One Sensitive Skin and Stomach, but she also makes off with any sort of person food she can find to try bites of it because she is a terror child. 🤣 She also might just have the cat equivalent of IBS, I’ve heard.

      Reply
      1. Amanda Avatar
        Amanda

        @opensorceryy Ahhh, kitty IBS. I'm all too familiar with that. 😂 I'm definitely not a vet, but have spent a lot of time learning, and if you're looking for resources to help, I'm always happy to info dump. How old is the little one?

        1. Ashley Halliwell Avatar
          Ashley Halliwell

          We thiiiink seven, eight months?? Info dump away, please!!!! One of my partners was a vet tech for a long time but more info and knowledge is always best, plus I love learning new things, especially about cats! 💛 I think my DMs are open (still troubleshooting that) so feel free to reach out that way, as well ✨

          Reply
          1. Amanda Avatar
            Amanda

            @opensorceryy I have no clue how to DM, but here's a link to the Google Doc I've been slowly putting together. It should be set to allow comments if you have questions/feedback and/or want me to find some missing references.
            My Eddy had an intussusception when he was about 5 months old, and a lot of ongoing digestive troubles that just suddenly cleared up shortly after his first birthday. My Sombra is older and has minor ongoing troubles though.

            https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f3Q2AgL8__bFofR87xAi7G-yyYpRwV8NGrCVzy7QnHI/edit?usp=sharing

          2. Ashley Halliwell Avatar
            Ashley Halliwell

            That’s cool as hell, thank you so much! I’ll take a look here shortly once I have more braincells, lol.

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