Have a meme.

You can also join the server here.
-Lazarus
So. Posting from here (Tusky) did NOT break my site. Not only THAT, but it may be more convenient for me to use this in tandem with the standard editor AND my Friends plugin on WP or like. A Web browser client. Watch this space for further attractions as I scream into the void and reblog ALL THE THINGS!! HEHE!
Oh no. 🤣
Hey, everyone. A very sleepy Lazarus here. I am in dire need of a nap, but before I pass out, I wanted to write a bit. I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a suggested Reel by a creator named Kitty Knorr. This led me down a small rabbit hole through her account, and in one of her other posts she spoke about how it’s a lot easier to create and have a clear vision as an artist if you have a clear vision of your target audience. Let me see if I can go back and embed that particular Reel here..
This really got me thinking. A lot of people who connect with my work now are people who are in places I was in my life five to ten years ago, just like Kitty was saying. I hear a lot of people say that they connect with my album Mago now even though I released the damn thing in 2017 and it is one of the darkest, most harrowing things I’ve ever made in hindsight and I’m in a much better, more stable place now.
There’s a lot about the concept of my target audience being me from five to ten years ago that both terrifies me and gives me hope. My system from 2015-2020 in every area of our life was fucking broken and lost. As much as I would love to help people who are in places like I was back then, I worry that there is nothing productive I could offer them and I would end up making their lives worse and exhaust myself further in the process.
Conversely, however, I might be overthinking this, and better questions to focus on may be things like, “what would 2015-2020 me have loved to see in art or fiction that simply weren’t there yet”? “what representation were they longing for?” “what things could they have seen that would have freed them from shame?”
Perhaps if I focus on those questions and play around with those ideas, I could make some cool shit, audience or no audience.
Thank you, Kitty Knorr, wherever you may be. 💛 Now, I do believe it is naptime.
Gniiiiiiight!!
-Lazarus
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. I don’t have a lot of energy right now. However, I’ve discovered that Google made a tool that combines certain emojis that I’ve found to be very handy when it comes to expressing emotions when I really have no idea where to start or am too tired to express the mixed bag I am experiencing emotionally. This is roughly what I am feeling right now, for example.

I also want to share this cool playlist Theo cooked up 💛 Here it is:
And as a fun bonus treat in honor of 2025 already being odd, here’s a perennial favorite playlist of mine from years ago, the Last Polycule at the End of the World.
Insomnia and the cold weather have been kicking my ass physically and mentally and physically, but I’ve been having a lot of vivid dreams. So here’s a meme in honor of that that a friend/crush of mine sent me, lol.

Manifestation. ✨
I aim to be back tomorrow, lovely gremlins. Until then, I wish I was here:

Stay tuned for more magic. I will be dealing with my cantankerous body, hahahaaaaa….
-Lazarus
Hey, everyone. Allēna I have another set of random things I made for y’all today.
First up, here are two covers I cut in the spare room at the Zelda System’s place today. I’ve been experimenting more with ambient noise and attempting to free myself from having to do things perfectly, so I have been going into the spare room in the midafternoons and putting SOMETHING down, even if it’s random improvisations, as close to daily as possible. I did these with the window open in there but the mic pointed away from the window, huddled in close. You can hear cicadas singing and cars and planes passing by, and honestly I love it. Enjoy, y’all:
Next, here are a couple poems I’ve written in the past couple of days:
The first poem..
I disappeared along with my dislike into the gray
This city is loud but for now it sleeps
Everywhere but here
My world is in this room tonight, and I shall conquer him
Let him swallow me whole…
This is a radiant world, sweet, golden, satin-soft, delicious
I have to remind myself this is real every time
You feel so damn good I could cry
I thought loving you would take more convincing
Yet here I lay, heart open wide, easily as breathing
Awash in longing and sleepy lamplight
And I think right now I would let you take me far away from this place if you wanted to
Anywhere you wanted
I love the way you lose all restraint the moment you look at me
I want to know your touch in every lifetime
Your eyes are golden like afternoon light in Maryland in October
Or perhaps Anchorage in June, ten PM
You make me realize why people in love build monuments to their lovers
Because I want to build a house, a hall, a castle… anything to honor how beautiful you look in this moment - and I have moments like that at least a hundred times a day
And the second…
I made it back to the coast in about half a decade, they’ll say
There’s a house with my name on it built in 1734
Two rambling men took a chance on a woman that burned like hellfire and we made it out alive
You can’t have it all, they tried telling me when I was younger
But that’s because they never gave themselves permission to get what it was they wanted
They never knew what to do with their child with ghosts in her bones
Haunted by the living before they ever spoke to her
So naturally they would never understand what it is I have or what I see
The course of the future is changing with the leaves
The world will be different come next spring
And yes, I will die in these woods
But not in the way I thought I would
I will die old, happy and free
Neither of them have titles yet, and I don’t know if they ever will. I’m enjoying playing around creatively with very little pressure to produce anything in particular and posting what I make here as it comes out. It’s very freeing, honestly.
I hope you liked today’s offerings, and as always, stay tuned for more magic!
-Allēna
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