Tag: Executive dysfunction

  • The Art of Bitching

    Well, this is an interesting prompt.

    What do you complain about the most?

    I tend to complain a lot about anything that’s difficult or exhausting for me while in the process of doing it. It helps me bypass my executive dysfunction and my deeply rooted perfectionism, which often makes it damn near physically painful to get out of my blanket lump, so cussing about having to do the task makes the task doable.

    It’s one of the joys I have discovered in adulthood, as when I was a child and teen, I was often made to do things without showing a hint of displeasure. My parents insisted that I did everything they wanted “with a cheerful heart”. So I often did, but gave them hell the rest of the time and would find ways to maliciously comply with that rule while doing the task. They learned pretty early that the only way to get me to do anything that I didn’t really give a shit about well was to pay me a king’s ransom 🤣. But now that I am away from them and better for it, I bitch about damn near everything that I have to do that doesn’t involve being cocooned in a blanket lump while in the process of getting shit done.

    I don’t mind being productive, for the record. I actually quite enjoy it. It just hurts a lot of the time. Bitching about the task at hand gets me to start the process of being productive, and I highly recommend it.

    How do y’all get shit done?

    -Allēna

  • A brief compendium of thoughts I thought in the shower tonight after being alone for most of today (another poem)

    i. 
    I find it ironic that the same words that help me sleep are the same words
    that keep me awake.

    ii.
    I imagine in detail what it would be like to program a bot that would
    post a random frame from the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy" meme every hour on the hour.

    upon further reflection, I determine that
    any internet searches related to this project could double as searches for "how to impress your crush(es)".

    iii.
    the line between prophecy and insanity is and always has been
    thin and blurry at best.
    I continue to use it like a jump rope.

    iv.
    will there be any more room for
    slow days in this angry world?

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  • On a somewhat lighter note,

    On a somewhat lighter note,

    This is PRECISELY how taking a shower feels.

    I swear most of the so called executives in my brain are like. Greenhorn neurotypical Harvard Business School grads who are so AGGRESSIVELY NORMIE that they’d punch a barista if they got their triple shot breve no foam Starbucks order wrong on their way into work in my brainhole, and the one guy who CAN function in this shit hole is an aging secretary who is responsible for my pattern recognition and systematization who shows up to work in heels and a neon pink blazer.

    Plot twist, he’s almost entirely ace, and he makes sure all the other bitches (who are all gay and dating secretly) get their CORRECT coffee so that they can accomplish their SINGLE actual task. Which is Take Shower. Secretary is Cooking the Sickest Memes about his batshit job in the background and posting them to his Tumblr blog, which is a sort of an open secret. He’d tell the others about it if they’d stop FUCKING FIGHTING for long enough to ask questions, lmao.

    On that ridiculous note, I need to assume the role of That Fucking Secretary at Brainhole, LLC, stop fucking about on Discord, and haul my crippled ass into the fucking wet box.

    Stay tuned for more magic. Probably shortly at this rate 🤣

    -Lazarus

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