I’m kidding.
But I do paint melting clocks on occasion. Like this one.
Hehehe….
Blog
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My Brainhole… Visualized
A bit of context: my friend mk (it/its) posted an incredible thought piece on its Substack on feral anarchy, what it means, etc., and I found it very inspiring. I, too, am quite feral, a synesthete, have zero sense of linear time, and have built my very neuroqueer life from a place of loosely organized chaos. So I decided to make art that aimed to describe my experience a bit. Therefore… Have this!
Many of the words in this art piece are from my poetry, hehe.
I highly recommend reading mk’s work if you do not and following/subscribing! It’s doing great things.
-Lazarus ✨
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Well, I definitely need to stay away from volcano alerts for the time being.
Because it’s almost 3 AM and several weird brainhole visions later, this happened.
Have digital mixed media art. I need to attempt sleep..
-Lazarus
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A brief compendium of thoughts I thought in the shower tonight after being alone for most of today (another poem)
i.
I find it ironic that the same words that help me sleep are the same words
that keep me awake.
ii.
I imagine in detail what it would be like to program a bot that would
post a random frame from the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy" meme every hour on the hour.
upon further reflection, I determine that
any internet searches related to this project could double as searches for "how to impress your crush(es)".
iii.
the line between prophecy and insanity is and always has been
thin and blurry at best.
I continue to use it like a jump rope.
iv.
will there be any more room for
slow days in this angry world?Fediverse reactions
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A bit of fun Fediverse Fact vs Fun Fediverse Fiction…
So I have enormous triple special interests in web design, open source tech of all kinds, and social media, and my recent headfirst deep dive into federated social media via this hell site has resulted into the biggest, most all consuming rabbit hole since I discovered that people built their own fictional worlds.
As a result, here’s a bit of Fun Fediverse Fact vs a bit of Fun Fediverse Fiction.
Fun Fediverse Fiction: oh my gods, this place is a ghost town. Nobody uses this thing. And if they did, it’s not like they would talk about anything I enjoy.
Fun Fediverse Fact: This place is full to the brim with Cool Shit and even Cooler Gremlins. I cannot go five minutes without finding people who I want to be friends with posthaste on here.
Send help immediately. My executives are like. Definitely refusing to function on anything but this 🤣. Five year old Fledgling Website Builder Gremlin me would shit a sideways brick if they saw Fedi. I honestly wish I could show my late chaos programmer father Fedi. He would also shit a sideways brick.
Meta could never do what this gremlinry does…
Well, back to attempt number ten billion to focus on Anything Else. Or more rabbit hole. Because yours truly is Fascinated.
-Lazarus
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A poem for today.
I hail from the hellfire that raised me
And the shadows that granted me solace
Black as the Pit from pole to pole -
And I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul -
The years that lay ahead
Are but a shadow of the menace of the trail I've already blazed
I come armed with the horror
Of foresight, hope, teeth, and claw
And you shall find me angry, trembling
But laughing, weeping
Smiling, and
Unafraid.
I have sparred with far greater things than this
I have come out bent, bloody, but
I have faced the void inside me and befriended it, so
You may try and take my eyes, my body,
You may try and come to my door,
You may try and take everything from me
But I am antifragile, incomprehensible
And I know myself far better than you know you.
Attempt to obstruct me, too, if you wish.
You will only come to know what the others know
You will only fight what the others fought.
You will only find what the others found -
That in the end, only I am the master of my fate.
Only I am the captain of my soul.
-20 January 2025, after "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley -
On a somewhat lighter note,
On a somewhat lighter note,
This is PRECISELY how taking a shower feels.
I swear most of the so called executives in my brain are like. Greenhorn neurotypical Harvard Business School grads who are so AGGRESSIVELY NORMIE that they’d punch a barista if they got their triple shot breve no foam Starbucks order wrong on their way into work in my brainhole, and the one guy who CAN function in this shit hole is an aging secretary who is responsible for my pattern recognition and systematization who shows up to work in heels and a neon pink blazer.
Plot twist, he’s almost entirely ace, and he makes sure all the other bitches (who are all gay and dating secretly) get their CORRECT coffee so that they can accomplish their SINGLE actual task. Which is Take Shower. Secretary is Cooking the Sickest Memes about his batshit job in the background and posting them to his Tumblr blog, which is a sort of an open secret. He’d tell the others about it if they’d stop FUCKING FIGHTING for long enough to ask questions, lmao.
On that ridiculous note, I need to assume the role of That Fucking Secretary at Brainhole, LLC, stop fucking about on Discord, and haul my crippled ass into the fucking wet box.
Stay tuned for more magic. Probably shortly at this rate 🤣
-Lazarus
#actuallyADHD #actuallyAuDHD #ActuallyAutistic #Discord #ExecutiveDysfunction #fuckingAbout #meme #memes #neurodivergence #showeringSucks #systematization
Fediverse reactions
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Well, the Cheeto has Landed.
And in light of that, have this.
Here’s the original thread from user @absurdistwords. You don’t have to open the door for any cop, unless they have a warrant signed by a judge.
And from there, if they do, they’ll lie. Their questions actually mean “can we detain this person and do all manner of unspeakable things to them.”
Remember what happened in the Holocaust. This is the time to truly determine what you ACTUALLY would have done during the fucking Holocaust. Do not comply in fucking advance. Instead, no, you don’t know the person they’re asking about. No, you don’t know a damn thing about what they’re asking about. It’s none of their damn business.
This political atmosphere relies on the compliance of its citizens, so people who are snooping around may not be cops, either. Be rude. Be fucking obnoxious. Make it weird. Do what you need to do to not comply in fucking advance and get these people who do not mean your community well off your damn lawn.
Just because whoever is at your door isn’t there for you right now doesn’t mean they won’t eventually come for you or someone you care about.
Be smart, stay crotchety, and send these fuckers back to where they came from.
And as always, stay tuned for more magic.
-Lazarus
