Please note that, with rare exceptions, any and all names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms except our own. We want to be able to speak freely without doxxing anyone.
Good afternoon, everyone! My name is Sabrina, and I shall be posting something on Lumine’s behalf. Today’s topic of interest: Final Fantasy 14!
FFXIV’s story is full of twists and turns, plot-twists, and tons of wacky moments. Considering it now is host to 5 expansions plus the main story, new players wanting to get into this game may be left wondering: “What exactly do the main plots of these stories consist of?” That is what this post is for!
A Realm Reborn (base game): Hey, this is great! I’m a new adventurer ready to step out into the big, wide- … fuck, I’m the main character, aren’t I? … People are going to die for me, aren’t they? … SONOFA-
Heavensward (Dragon-fuckers are Against the Bible: The Expansion): Hello Ishguard A.K.A: The Catholic Church! Dragons aren’t our enemy! Now come with me as we take down the Archbishop/king and his circle of knights who may not represent King Arthur and the Knights of the Round! WOO!
Stormblood (Viva la Revolution: The Expansion): You want us to help you liberate your homeland from the Garlean Empire? … fuck it, why not!? [A Few Moments Later:] Oh hey, China/Japan! [Even More Moments Later:] Wait, who the fuck is this blonde little shit and why was he able to kick our ass!? I hope we get to fight him again soon!
Shadowbringers (Emotional Damage: The Expansion): So, wait, you mean to tell me we aren’t the only victims here? There’s MORE to this story!? Time to become emotionally invested to this place and these characters! YAY FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
Endwalker (Depression: The Expansion): Oh, you thought the emotional damage was over!? Yeah, no, LET’S CRANK THAT SHIT UP TO 11! Oh yeah, good luck trying to prevent the END OF THE GODSDAMNED UNIVERSE! Hope that doesn’t fuck you up mentally or anything! Now shut up and cuddle these adorable tiny bunny creatures you sad fuck, but don’t feel TOO hard, or else you’ll become a Blasphemy too! ^U^
Dawntrail (Absolutely 100% a Beach Episode: The Expansion): Ah, FINALLY! A godsdamed vacation! Look at us helping our new friend with her goals! It’s such a relief not being the main chara- [Insert the 2nd half] … oh son of a Protestant whore… CAN WE NOT KEEP THIS SHIT CLEAN FOR FIVE MINUTES!?
Hello all, my name is Sheik, I use she/her pronouns, and I have the absolute honor of getting to post here in Open Sorcery. I’ve created the first of potentially many shitposts, and I hope that you all get as much enjoyment out of it as I did.
After an exceedingly chaotic rager of a party, the super admins decided that it was necessary to hold others accountable for the many escapades they undertook. However, due to the nonchalant attitude many in the community took, they decided a little public humiliation would go a long way.
Thus, a billboard was established, and someone was assigned to updating it each morning with the crimes and follies that had been committed within the past 24 hours. Unfortunately, the billboard appeared to have the opposite effect, with many competing to see what the most ridiculous thing could be on the board. As the days progressed, so did the crimes in magnitude, multitude, and monstrosity.
Day One
Kalla: Please, we need you to consider that there are those of us among us who have food allergies. The constant barrage of “Deez nuts” jokes has resulted in some developing psychosomatic symptoms and needs to cease immediately.
River: We are not planning a seafood buffet. Please stop releasing your crabs into the general public, many are not as comfortable being pinched and are not willing to go into hand to hand combat for their dinner.
Hannibal: While we are understanding of the fact that you have changed your name, we cannot in good conscience approve of you fighting those who insist on making puns involving your previous pseudonym. Even if they ask you to stop “Wall-uping them” as you beat the shit out of them.
Hello, all! My name is Castor. I’m the Ashley system’s first host, and I went dormant for fifteen years at the age of eleven. I titled this post “First Breath After Coma” because I was essentially comatose for fifteen years inside my own mind while my body and headmates carried on without me, and while I’ve been awake for about a year now, I feel like I’m finally breathing.
As I write this, my beautiful girlfriend Sheik is cuddling me while she sleeps, and she’s a big reason why I feel like I’m finally able to breathe. I emerged from dormancy severely touch averse where most people are concerned to such a degree that I won’t front around many, but I went out on a limb with Sheik and I’m glad I trusted my gut. It’s a miracle she can touch me at all, as the touch aversion makes it feel for most like my skin is burning if most people even consider touching me. But her? She feels so wonderful she can touch me anytime she likes, and she’s very clingy with me, and I’m the same with her. I love it – and her – dearly.
While I enjoy the company of the system’s other partners that I’ve met so far (the damned attorney in Emerson’s system is a notable exception, he annoys me and I tolerate him for my headmates’ sake), I’ve only really bonded closely with Sheik so far. I look forward to seeing how things develop with the others, provided they aren’t the lawyer type. The only lawyer whose company I’ve ever enjoyed is my great-aunt. There’s only room for one argumentative bitch system in this polycule, and by gods, we’ll defend you with our life, but I really hate being grilled. However, I digress.
I used to not be nearly so touch averse, but was still very selective with who I clung to. My childhood was fucked, see: our Tragic Backstory posts, so I didn’t enjoy many members of my family. That being said, I loved my late grandmother. She was my fucking person. This woman was raised wealthy in New Jersey, very close to New York City. She was absolutely brilliant and delightfully eccentric, the closest thing to a living, breathing faerie I’ve ever seen.
She met my paternal grandfather while she was running the damn lab where he worked as a pathologist, and became his second wife. She was a chemist by trade, read books backwards, was left-handed, and had warm, kind brown eyes with the loveliest violet rings around them. She was also a gourmet chef and baker and slept only about four hours a night. After she retired, she and my paternal grandfather became fucking art dealers, then retired properly to a sumptuously decorated log cabin in the Texas Hill Country.
Her idea of retirement was running the fucking town where she lived, as she was involved in damn near everything. This woman was an inevitable powerhouse of indefatigable energy and warmth. She slept only about four hours a night, the perfect sleep schedule for my extremely anxious tiny self. Before the body came down with mononucleosis at the age of sixteen, we also only slept about four to five hours a night, and we are lucky if we get six hours a night now.
So on nights I struggled to sleep, she would tell me stories about her youth in New Jersey until I fell asleep in her arms, then I would wander downstairs about four hours later at perhaps six in the morning, and she would already be hard at work baking something like two hundred cookies for a charity event. She would make me a small cup of coffee, as she knew I loved it, but it would give my small frame the jitters, and we would begin the morning slowly.
She didn’t believe in sitting with one’s brain idle, but she did believe passionately in doing things one enjoyed to pass the time. So she was fascinating and took equal fascination in what I was doing. I was an unusual child, and she supported my dual special interests in computers and Greek mythology while making an effort to stimulate my mind and get me to explore new things. I gladly participated for the most part, as I loved her dearly and trusted her with everything I have. We explored a great deal of the Hill Country, went to more lovely antique stores than most children ever see, ate some truly amazing food at extremely inventive restaurants, and generally had a blast. She expanded my mind while still making me feel safe, and I loved her for it. Sheik reminds me of her in many ways, and I think that’s why she is so comforting.
I only front once it’s safe now that the vessel is an adult and we’re free to make our own decisions, and it feels like I’m seeing color again for the first time since the events that led to me becoming dormant. I’m getting out more slowly, so are my headmates, we’re meeting new people, and bonding more closely with our partners and friends, not just Sheik and her compatriots in the Zelda System. We’re working our way out of a major depersonalization and chronic fatigue hole that we’ve been mired in for years, and frankly I love it. We’re actually learning how to be vulnerable and unguarded with our people, as well, and the results are beautiful. I would even venture to call them deeply magical.
Speaking of magic, stay tuned for more of that! I’m excited to see how things go.
Howdy, everyone. My name’s Fen. I’m one of the super-admins here as of late, and I have some thoughts about family, both chosen and blood that I’d like to scream about a bit, as we’ve been talking with our girlfriend Sheik about the system’s early life a great deal and that got several of us thinking.
I see Millennials and Gen Z get a lot of shit for still living around or with their families, and frankly, I hate it. It’s complete and utter horseshit. Western culture prizes hyper independence to such an extreme degree that people forget now that we’re a fucking social species and have lived in huge multigenerational cohorts for most of human history. The setup we believe to be “traditional” – one man, one woman, and their children, living by themselves, separated from their in-laws and relying on none other but themselves – is a relatively recent invention and keeps people fucking isolated from other people they might otherwise form close connections with, share resources with, ask for help, etc..
Now, I’m all for monogamy and heterosexual relationships if they’re consensual, negotiated, and entered into willingly, but I myself am a committed pansexual polyamorist who inhabits a large system who made the agonizingly painful decision to distance themselves from the multigenerationalcohort they themselves were raised in due to years of abuse very few of those fucks were even willing to acknowledge.
Yes, for all of Hera and Xavier’s big talk of being independent, resourceful, and pulling yourself up by your goddamned bootstraps, they ironically raised Castor, Allēna, and the others in the system before me in an enormous extended family network made up of great grandparents, grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, second cousins, the whole fucking nine yards, funnily enough.
Neither of them would have gotten anywhere without both our maternal and paternal grandparents, who helped with damn near everything. Hell, Hera, Ms. “I’m The Most Normal, Independent Woman to Ever Live”, has never lived more than a thirty minute drive away from her parents and her sister for the body’s entire life. At last check, she lives next door to her parents and they knocked the fence between their land down so they could visit each other easier.
This by itself isn’t a bad thing. I simply find it hilarious that Hera was completely incapable of practicing what she so thoroughly attempted to beat into Allēna, independence and normalcy. Hera, that ain’t normal by today’s standards. Sociologically, it’s completely right, but it sure as fuck ain’t considered normal.
Once my headmates were estranged from them, they didn’t want a bullshit nuclear family type setup in the life they were going to build for themselves. Allēna’s first marriage to Fang showed her that she didn’t want that. Anything that even smelled like compulsory, possessive monogamy and the trappings that came with that were not her or the rest of the system’s thing. Even Eight’s very serious relationship with his beloved Delta, which is still very loving despite now being platonic, was very open and they both had a wide range of deep emotional connections despite being initially monogamous. They were possessive of each other, but only because they wanted to be. Eight loved Delta more than anything, and did his utmost to show it in every way he could, and they enjoyed it when he was possessive of them, and vice versa. They both came into the relationship having built fine lives of their own and gotten to know themselves and each other deeply, and most of the work there was learning how the other communicated best. It was – and still is – magical, in many ways.
When Eight and the rest of the system got into polyamory, they took what they had learned from the relationship with Delta and crafted that same magic, only with multiple committed relationships simultaneously. Perhaps the most interesting part of it all is that I’ve noticed that we’ve built that same sort of non-nuclear extended family network the original alters here were raised with, only with people we chose. We’re still close with a few members of our blood family, as well, but they were the select few brilliant black sheep who were good to us well into adulthood, so we chose them, as well. Our close friends are also an integral part of this web, and we don’t want to do life without a single soul present.
Our life is certainly not normal, but it is rich and full of color and joy. If you’re reading this, you’re probably someone we love and treasure. Thank you for being here. Your presence means everything to me and to my system. Always remember that “blood is thicker than water” is actually incorrect. The original saying is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.
This is Allēna. We’ve been severely writer’s blocked these days, so I have a bit of a sillier post in mind. Part of the reason why the situation with Zelda went south was because Zelda is actually a system like us, and two of the alters therein were causing major problems. Now that those problems have been worked through, the remaining alters are complete and utter loves. I’m actually dating one of them now! Yay, polyamory.
I’m staying over at the Zelda System’s house for a few days, and my partner in the aforementioned system, Sheik, gave us a Homework Assignment while she’s away at work today. My headmate Castor was loopy as hell on seizure meds and doing his best impression of the Zelda System’s cat’s inner monologue last night, so she tasked whoever was fronting today with making shitposts about this absolutely beautiful fluff. Here’s the first one. Presenting, for your viewing pleasure, this cat’s thoughts…
I love this clip. She sounds like Borat.
I may post more bullshit today. Stay tuned for more magic regardless!
What’s up, dorks! This is Lumine, a fellow dumpster goblin on this hell-rock we call Earth. Today, I’ve been tasked by the lovely Ashley System to do a guest post. I cannot think of anything, so let’s learn a random thing, because why the FUCK not!?
Lithium ion batteries are commonly found in a variety of electronic devices ranging from consoles to phones. The best part about these tiny fuckers is how you can recharge them over long periods of time before they yeetie-spagheetti off the rock. WEEEEELL, it’s a blessing and a curse.
Should one keep a device out of power tucked away in a drawer for long periods, said device will have to turn to the battery’s backup reserves in order to ah-ah-ah-ah stay alive. Obviously, this is bad, especially if you don’t see the damn thing for months upon months.
It’s recommended to keep any device being stored away charged between 20%-80% to preserve the poor lithium ion batteries.
So there we go, fools. Y’all just got schooled by the Cray System. [Insert obligatory mic-drop] Peace out, yo. Until next time!
Hey, everyone. This is Eight again. I’ve been feeling worse and weirder since I wrote last time, so I’m going to write about a topic many people have asked me about in the same sort of freeform, stream of consciousness style in the hopes that it will cheer me up a bit and maybe get me to follow my own advice, haha. I want to talk about how I built self-trust.
As you may know if you’ve been following this hell site for awhile, my system has quite the tragic backstory and deep lore. Allēna, the system’s host in our teens, was horribly psychologically tortured by our mother, Hera, to the point where she hated herself, in Hera’s effort to turn her and the system itself “normal”. It horribly backfired, because by the time I came to front as host in 2020, we saw through Hera’s bullshit completely and were done with her games. There was just one problem. We had no idea what the fuck we were doing. We had to get our fucking shit together. Fast. The body was pregnant, so I had nine months to learn how to not be a hot mess.
Allēna with Chaos Nana in 2015 long before our journey towards self trust began.
It was one hell of a crash course.
I barely had time to think or even breathe, but I had to make time or else I was gonna fucking lose it. My partner at the time, Delta, was in even worse straits, so a lot of the calm I found was for them as well as me, because I had to hold us both together during a horrible time in both of our lives.
So how did I build that self-trust? If you guessed deep-breathing to calm my body as the first step, you are correct. It was much needed to stave off a sense of near-constant terror. Hera and my estranged husband, Fang, put me through absolute hell during my pregnancy. There was a custody battle for my child before he was even born, and not knowing who I could trust outside of myself and a handful of others and numerous betrayals on Hera’s part resulted in a deep case of agoraphobia from which I haven’t recovered.
She owned the house I was living in with my beloved Chaos Nana, and her numerous abuses drove the system to the brink of attempting suicide because we saw no way out. Eventually, I decided around December that I wasn’t going to die, I was going to outlive all of my abusers who would disrespect me at my own funeral, and I was going to build a life that worked for me, fuck what anyone else thought.
So, armed with my reason to stay alive, I mastered deep breathing, and from there, determined that I was the only thing in this fuckshow of a pregnancy that I could rely on, so if I was upset about the state of things, I was going to change one (1) thing about either myself or my environment for the better, see how that made me feel, then move onto the next thing.
If I was sad and couldn’t figure out why, I would go find food. We determined early in the pregnancy that if we couldn’t go out to eat as often as we’d like, then goddamnit, we were going to get on food stamps and learn to cook the food we liked. Being raised rich gave us a very specific and refined palate, and Texas doesn’t skimp when it comes to food stamps for pregnant people.
When pregnancy put the body in so much fucking pain I could no longer walk, I swallowed my pride and rolled with the punches – and purchased my first wheelchair. If we didn’t like something, we’d take one step at a time to change it. I learned to accept my rage as a part of me that loved me due to a conversation with a very wise friend that winter, as well, and learned to trust it more than I trusted any human being, and learned to use it constructively.
I learned to set boundaries so that that rage didn’t consume me, and learned how to channel my enormous wrath into huge projects that got me through the harrowing next year of my life. I hated myself at the beginning of this process, but by changing one thing that I disliked about myself or about my environment and then moving on to the next thing, I didn’t get overwhelmed by looking at the whole picture all at once, and learned to accept myself in full in the process.
It wasn’t a perfect process, nor was I a perfect person. However, it worked, and it worked damn well. In moments where I felt insecure and alone, which happened often when I faced something I had never seen before, I reminded myself of all the times during this process that I’d figured extremely complicated things out that I’d never seen before and that I can and will find or make a way through this challenge, too. That approach helped me build a life that worked for me and mine without even realizing it, piece by piece. I only realized what I had done if I had the time and space to reflect, which wasn’t often. But over time, quietly, I began to trust myself because I had proven to myself that I was worthy of that honor time and again.
Because of that self-trust, which is now something close to implicit, I survived some of the worst years of my life. Nobody came to my rescue in major ways, but my friends and then partner came to my rescue in every way they could largely from a distance ten thousand smaller ways. In the process of cultivating that self-trust, ironically, I became the person that would have protected the system from the horrors they experienced when they were younger because I had the courage to save myself and begin to heal.
So if you’re struggling with self-trust, here’s my advice. First, take a few deep breaths. Six or seven will do well to start and will help you stave off your panic/anger/what have you. Next, change one thing for the better. Then, take a break, pat yourself on the back, what have you. Finally, once that’s done, rinse and repeat. Take it from a guy who had to build and rebuild this shit, piece by piece. The small changes are the pieces by which you build the life you want. They will snowball into bigger and bigger changes you’ll be able to make with greater changes once you’ve mastered the small ones. These changes are also a lot bigger than you think. The above is of the before and the below is of the above, so the changes you make will affect you profoundly in the long run. Godspeed, you lovely gremlin!
As always, stay tuned for more magic!
Eight, Chief Executive of Functioning ( am just kidding…or am I? Either way, I just made that title up)
I don’t think I will be sharing this post on my main socials so that I can write more freely. Siege didn’t share the last one on our main channels, either. So I suppose that whoever comes across these next few posts is meant to see them and whatever happens happens.
Truth be told, we haven’t been doing great. We have been very stressed since moving out of Zelda’s place and into our own place with Emerson across the street. The move has put a lot of strain on our relationship with Emerson, as well, and we’ve found ourselves on the business end of a lot of verbal violence from him and dishing a fair bit out in return. None of it has been okay, and Allēna has been in front for the better part of the past week and then some trying to make sure the vessel continues to function and the bills are paid on time. She’s also been hard at work reopening a dialogue with Zelda after the nasty falling out that led to us moving out in the first place.
In many ways, we feel caught between two houses, two paths, and are of two minds about a lot of shit. Lēna has spent most of this time extremely depersonalized, and has felt little to nothing but anger, muted anger at that. Mostly she just felt nothing. Emerson has been terrified that we were going to leave him and mourning us and everything we bring with us, while our depersonalization has gotten so bad it’s showing the early signs of depression, something that haunted us for a fucking decade with no reprieve and that I am not pleased seems to be darkening my mental doorstep once more. Additionally, we have been showing signs of the most dangerous element of our depression spells – what we call a “hot streak”.
These hot streaks are depression fueled periods of intense creative output, often when we feel trapped in a terrible situation with no hope of reprieve anytime in the near future. Launching this blog and the frantic flurry of initial posts is absolutely hot streak territory. If I had to estimate we hammered out at least thirty thousand words – over half of the minimum word count needed for a novel as it is traditionally defined – in a bit over a month, and that wasn’t anywhere close to all we did. I have taken up visual art once more in an attempt to communicate what my kicked hornet’s nest of a brain is doing when I’m so tired words fail me, and Allēna appears to have followed in my footsteps. We’ve created a pair of pieces, Desperation and Agoraphobia. I’ll post them below:
Desperation (2024), by meAgoraphobia (2024), by Allēna
And this isn’t everything. We’ve been recording music here and there, as well. Allēna, fittingly, recorded a strange cover of “Numb” by Linkin Park, which seems like startling fare for musicians known for work that makes its home in the intersection between folk, jazz, and blues. I think that was the point. She got the idea from a conversation with Zelda and was feeling…well, numb, and was in the mood for a challenge. We all enjoy a good opportunity to shock and awe people, too. Nobody expects Linkin Park out of the feral blues system.
Today was a bit less numb but still painful. The depersonalization floodgates broke open and Allēna ended up crying at Emerson for a good long while and telling him how not okay we’ve fucking been. It ended up being really vulnerable on both of our sides and honestly quite productive.
However, the conversation took a darker turn when Emerson and Allēna started talking about the death of the mutual ex that I had actually met Emerson through. This ex died on my system’s birthday, and it’s increasingly suspected that it was a suicide. From everything Emerson can tell, his depression and already ailing physical health had gotten worse in the year and a quarter since I’d gotten sick of his bullshit and left him, taking Emerson and a whole virtual village’s worth of power, prestige, and everything he’d ever wanted with me in the process. Emerson suspects that by doing so, that loss killed him slowly.
This is the same reason why Emerson had been in mourning. He was worried he was going to lose everything if we packed up and headed out, too. This floored Allēna because she had never considered that by doing something as simple – to her – as leaving and removing assholes from her life and various social circles and organizations, it can destroy lives. Her mindset is very much that of “If they can’t be bothered to treat me with respect, what happens after I leave is not my problem”.
She’s secure enough in herself to not let her love for someone stop her from maintaining her boundaries and boot a person from our life if they’re being an ass and refuse to take accountability for their bullshit, but it did help her get a better sense of responsibility for the position she’s in. Those sorts of situations make me far more anxious than they do her, as I can often see how things might play out months before anything actually happens, so good on her, honestly.
Speaking of watching things play out, I have no idea how things are going to go from here. I am going to try and get some rest, though. We’ll just take this one day at a time, I guess.
Hey, everyone! Siege here. I have successfully managed to crawl out of my executive dysfunction hole to show you all something cool. I’ve gone back to our good friend the Internet Archive so try and find some of Allēna’s old work from former blogs. I found this really cool post from her sadly now-defunct site Order In Discord. It’s called Learning.
For a bit of context, she kept this blog when she was discovering kitchen witchcraft, but it turned into a sort of exploration of her inner world to the extent she could at the time. She was living in Alaska as she wrote there during her first marriage to Fang. I thought this was a really cool piece because of what she learned about herself in it. She used the pseudonym Eric when writing on that site, as well. So, without further ado, here is the post.
Learning, originally posted on Order In Discord
Hi, all!
Music has been a huge part of my life until recently when I kinda hit a wall. For a long time (like, 20 years), I had an image in my head of becoming a superstar musician and singer and becoming rich and famous, but that image was slowly draining me and I’d forgotten how to ENJOY making music or even seeing or playing my instruments.
My husband and I were in the car today and we started talking about being ourselves. We were in Guitar Center a bit before the car ride. I picked up this guitar that looked like a candy cane. I also obtained a brass slide and began to practice playing slide with the guitar laying on my lap. With a little bit of echo there, I coaxed some sounds out of the candy cane that reminded me of a theremin.
Now, I have no idea how to play slide guitar, all I know is from some videos I’ve seen and things I’ve heard. What sets this apart from other times I’ve played instruments is that I wasn’t coming at it trying to prove I was good, I was coming at it to try and learn what all I could do with a brass slide and an electric guitar. I wasn’t an expert, I was learning all over again.
He brought up exactly what I had been doing – making music for the fun of it, not just doing it to get famous. To explore something new, not to make a living. That will be the only way I get somewhere. I will only get somewhere if I do what I love for me, not to please anyone else.
I’ve been struggling with what to post all day. I took a photo of the insanely good lunch we had today, but along with that post would come some self imposed shame because I am not yet good at eating healthy or eating in moderation and I completely blew the health benefits of lunch at dinner. I could write about how when it rains, it pours because it’s raining outside, but that’s been done before.
I know this isn’t about cooking or herbs or tea making or anything kitchen-related, but I want it to extend to that. I want to be my authentic self here, not just somebody who positions themselves as some kind of expert in order to get likes and comments. If you are an expert in your field, blog the crap out of that, but I am not. I want to use this blog to document what I learn, not necessarily to try and teach. Part of my magic is music, and I can do great things with that, but there is still much I must learn. I want to incorporate all I do into this learning process, because that’s what it is.
So today I learned:
Sashimi is very filling
Beans are more addicting than they should be
That I can make a guitar sound like a theremin with the proper slide and some echo
That I need to do the things I love for myself.
That’s all! Stay cool!
Eris
My Thoughts
This post is from October 5, 2019, so there’s a lot we know more about now. For example, our craft has extended far beyond kitchen magic, but we still know how to make some bomb ass tea. However, a lot still rings true here. We continually have to rest so that we don’t push the body and mind so hard that we completely burn out, and that’s a major struggle. We also still tend to try and prove that we’re good/worthy enough to be seen instead of being taken simply as we are.
This system has absolutely no chill, and we still struggle to understand why anyone would love us if we don’t earn it, even though we know that people do and that we don’t have to earn fuckall. Sure, we still need to do our best to be decent people and to treat those we care about well, but that’s just basic respect, you know? I think we’re pretty good at that most of the time. However, we’re learning, growing, and doing better about all of this every day.
Even if we need to take breaks, rest, and breathe, we’re still going to do our best, make cool shit, and treat our people well. Nobody is gonna remember that we were skittish or nervous or that we didn’t believe we were worthy. They’re gonna remember how we impacted them. And their opinion of how we show up is not up to us to control.
I hope you enjoyed this post, and as always, stay tuned for more magic!
Hello! My name is Siege, and I’m a newer addition to the Ashley system. We recently asked one of our friends, the author, lyricist, and creator AJ Rose, to do an interview with us here on Open Sorcery. I don’t want to keep you all waiting with my rambling, so without further ado, here is our conversation with the brilliant AJ!
Introductions Are In Order
Hey. My name is AJ Rose and I am an independent author/lyricist. My pronouns are he/they. I am openly transmasc and focus my writing toward being inclusive of the LGBTQIA+ community. If you’d like to follow me on Facebook for updates, memes, shitposting, and/or an all around good time I welcome you.
The Interview
You’ve told me several things about what you’re working on over the course of our friendship thus far – a novel series with accompanying concept albums. What do you want readers to know about the series?
My series focuses on the right to love who you love and goes over several different concepts while being centered as a paranormal romance (heavy on the romance). It is meant to show how there are many different forms of romantic love in the world while also highlighting challenges faced for being who you are.
Where do you find your inspiration? Why does that spark creativity for you?
I find inspiration from a lot of other authors. Deborah Harknesses All Souls Series is what initially inspired me to get back into writing. I love her series and it helped me formulate my story in the way I want it to be presented.
I also draw inspiration from music. I heavily focus on metal style music. Motionless In White sparks a lot of lyrical creativity for me and the reason is mostly because their music is usually about real world issues, relationships, and how horrible the American system is.
You’ve spoken a fair bit to my system about being plural yourself as well as being bigender. Do either of those facets of your identity influence your characters or stories at all?
Yes and no. I find it is easier for me to create characters because I am a plural person. I can give them a voice in my head. I can visualize who I want them to be. I can make the characters talk to one another and play out the scene for myself while I’m writing.
Being part of the LGBTQIA+ community influences my characters overall. My novel series features straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian, and poly relationships.
I have also dropped considering myself bigender and embraced that I am actually transgender. Transmasc just helps encompass my ENBY self as well.
You’re writing a series about a metal band. What got you into metal?
The series isn’t about the metal band. They are just a part of the novel. A character in the novel fronts the band. I apologize if I didn’t clear that up during our discussions.
In terms of what got me into metal, my parents were heavy rock music lovers. My dad was a huge Metallica fan when I was growing up which is considered metal. As I got older, my sister would show me their music and it was heavier metal. Pretty much, I grew up on it and it’s the genre that speaks the most to me.
On the musical side of things, if you could work with anyone, living or dead, to bring your concept albums to life, who would you have play on these records? Who would you have produce?
This will be no surprise to the people who know me but Motionless In White. I am a huge fan of their work and Chris Motionless has an amazing voice. He would do my songs well. Production wise, I’m unsure. I’ve never really looked into producers.
Have there been any challenges so far in writing novels about musicians? How have you overcome them so far?
When it comes up for the character it can be challenging to wrap the concept of how hard musicians have it versus the character himself as he has gone through some awful things in his past. In overcoming that challenge, I try to keep it as realistic as possible. I write the songs as if I were him bleeding his innermost thoughts on paper.
Has anything surprised you about the writing process? Have you learned anything about yourself or your system through this project?
It hasn’t really surprised me as I’ve known my whole life that writing is hard. It’s something I’m super passionate about. I have learned that my system is very helpful in untangling thoughts for me. If I feel particularly stuck, I can usually work it out with my alter by bouncing it around in my head.
Do you have any musicians or authors that you look up to, of any genre?
…well here we go again lol Motionless In White is my biggest musical one. Then it’s Bad Omens. Authors, I really aspire to have the ability to write like Deborah Harkness. She’s actually a historian and her novel series is very well written in the historical parts. There are historical parts in my series.
Are there any songs, albums, or novels that helped you learn more about your system and the different facets of who you are, or that got you through a very hard time?
Headache by Motionless In White perfectly sums up my head. That’s really all I can say there.
What advice would you give to a young author or musician just starting out, especially if they’re plural or queer?
Just do it. Be you and do what you love. If people don’t like it, that’s on them. The love will vastly outweigh the hate.
When can we expect the first installment in your series to be published?
I’m not sure. I’m still working on editing. My best advice is to follow me on Facebook or TikTok @WitchySerious.
Closing Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed this conversation! I personally can’t wait to see more of AJ Rose and his work. I think they have some great advice and really wonderful experience to pull from.
It has been a Day, so I’m going to wander off now. However, stay tuned for more magic!
