Tag: dissociative identity disorder

  • I’ve been so tired

    that I could barely respond to the wonderful  messages people have been sending me on a lovely new app that Emerson and Hawthorne put me onto called Roost, and I still couldn’t get to all of them. I feel bad, but resting is important. The emotional and physical toll of the past…yes must be catching up to me.

    It’s also been six years to the day since my headmate Peri left our ex-husband, Fang, although she wouldn’t leave for Texas until July 11 (Alaska time), so that may be also contributing to the exhaustion somewhat. July seems to be the month of life-altering decisions and plot twist insanity, whether it was Peri leaving Fang, Eight leaving for Philly a year and some later, him starting the relationship for the first time with Zelda the year after that (I can’t quite recall the date of their anniversary, though, but I know it was late July/early August), or my massive seizures that were a major contributing factor in us leaving Zelda that also happened a year ago today, not to mention me finally divorcing Fang officially last year on July 23. So it’s a heavy month for a lot of reasons, full of life changes and memories and grief.

    I will admit that I’m fully anticipating tragedy in some form this month given the seizures last year, or some other kind of major upheaval, but I don’t know what it will be and that scares me and that could also be contributing to my fatigue…

    We’ll see what happens, I guess. I’ll keep y’all posted, as always.

    -Allēna

  • I have no idea what to make of today, really.

    Our pinned post on Facebook got shared into a DID fake claiming group of some kind and so the page is crawling with trolls. A new notification pops up every few minutes.

    It doesn’t get to me a lot of the time, but for now I wish these people would just leave well enough alone.

    -Allēna

  • Emerson and Ashley went to Honeybee Sage yesterday and Ashley read two poems.

    They will roll out elsewhere on social media in early June, but I am going to share them here now.

    He kicked absolute ass, and tbh I think he’s a natural performer. I think he did better than me.

    -Allēna

  • JEEEEZ, fronting after this long is weird…

    This is Renn, I haven’t been out in about two years. I don’t even know if I have a category on this blog for my posts yet, it’s been so long since I last fronted. Additionally, I came to front because Lēna was feeling out of it in the shower, so I took over so she could rest. I am not entirely sure how long she’ll be out, but I’m here for the time being at the wheel, so to speak, to give her a rest and get ahead on the system’s projects so that she can take a breather. She seems to be okay and safe and in relatively good spirits, just mentally tired.

    The same could be said for the body, in all honesty. This H1 + H2 experiment that she’s started is frankly a stroke of genius and I’m glad that we’re in this good of shape – it’s about 3:20 AM as I am writing this and I was able to get our social media posts scheduled up to a week in advance, June 4th, to be precise. I don’t consciously feel super tired yet, but seeing as it’s late and I did have a midnight coffee, it’s better to be safe than sorry, especially if I switched in because Lēna was feeling out of it. I should probably consider going to sleep soon ish rather than making even more videos until the ass crack of dawn.

    So it’s bedtime for me, or at least I’m going to attempt to sleep. Emerson is sleeping beside me, and honestly it’s wonderful to see him again. I’ve missed him terribly. The headspace is nice and very peaceful, but getting some time in the outside world is good and I have greatly needed it, I think.

    This is all for now. If I am in front tomorrow, I will say hi then. If I am not, let this be my goodbye until I see y’all next time.

    Much love,

    Renn

  • I’m bored, so have a collection of memes that describe my headmate Castor.

    He’s the system’s original host, and is known for showing up, giving Zero Fucks, Saying Very Cryptic Things, and then disappearing again.

    What a fucking guy.

    -Lazarus

  • I was clicking around the blog after months in a dormancy coma and I’ve gotta say…

    I love what my headmates have done with the place.

    Pretty neat.

    Have Allēna’s and Eight’s masterpiece album Mago as a treat before you go. If you’re finding the system via the MadMastodon tag or related ones, I think you’ll like what it has to say. It’s all about deconstructing a high control faith, surviving psychiatry and long term abuse, and finding ourselves. Enjoy.

    -Castor (he/it), the system’s original host.

    Fediverse Reactions
  • Will my headmates ever get their shit together and stop attempting to hit each other with chairs?

    No clue. Laz has no idea how to be a fucking person, I think, despite being the single most charismatic individual I’ve ever met.

    This photo sums up how I feel about their antics, pretty much…

    My face when Laz decides to audition for the part of “human being”.

    However, my darling Littlebeany has been nearby, so I got some lovely photos of her.

    What a good baby she is!

    It’s good to be back. I’ve missed you all.

    -Castor

    Fediverse Reactions
  • So my phone is in a hostage situation, apparently…

    This actually fucking happened. My phone is named the fucking HOSTAGE on Google.

    Which one of my fucking headmates did this?! Since we’re mostly integrated, the world may never know…

    -Allēna

  • Lazarus speaks a dialect all their own.

    Here are a few examples. Images are from our Bluesky account because I joined by accident trying to make Bridgyfed work yesterday, lol.

    He was wearing a black oversized T shirt in headspace that said “chronically sick, eternally thicc” in green Gothic text framed by sparkle emojis and banjo emojis.

    Before the “chronically sick” shirt, they were wearing a shirt in headspace that was the same sort of thing, except with pink italicized text that read “want me to bone apple yeet you into the next life lmao”, whatever that means.

    I think Lazarus may be the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met.

    Sigh…

    -Allēna