Every photo of Emerson with this bastard in front is just Michael doing the BLUE STEEL like so π€£
It fucking kills me…
-AllΔna
Tag: Emerson
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This man has been found guilty of being a cute psycho.
It is making me cackle that this photo looks like a damn mug shot π€£
-AllΔna
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My tiny cat has BETRAYED ME.
A shitty photo of the perpetrator herself and me from earlier this morning. I am on the couch tonight because Zelda is crashing at Emerson‘s and my place and there’s no room in the bed, and tiny girl was keeping my spot warm. You’d think this was good, right? Wrong.
This utter baby farts like an ADULT CLYDESDALE.
I love this cat but JESUS HENRY CHRIST. My couch? Half ruined. My dreams? Probably gonna be nightmares. This absolute baby love farts like an adult HUMAN MAN. Her farts should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention as some form of inhumane biochemical warfare.
I wish I were kidding. Her farts need to be studied for science because they’re worse than Emerson’s and mine COMBINED.
Sheeeesh.
I’m going to attempt to sleep if I’m not faced with more cruel and unusual cat punishment…
-AllΔna
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Group Chat Tomfuckery With Emerson
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A book Emerson found, defaced with love and chaos by yours truly π
We hold very little sacred in this house.
-AllΔna
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Well… Here’s an asshat.
This is Emerson‘s and my cat Vera. Her ass is on his hat. π€£
Speaking of asshats, I appear to have returned from an extended sabbatical of sorts? We’re still trying to figure out why I vanished, but I am back and filling in for Lazarus for the time being, who is very asleep right now.
-AllΔna
Fediverse Reactions
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Wait, You’re Telling Me I Can Be PAID to Take The Train If I Make Enough Of A Stink About Flying?!
Reblog via Climate News Now
This Italian climate researcher was fired for refusing to fly – now heβs won compensation.
The researcher hopes his case will inspire others to try flight-free travel. #ClimateChange
Oh, please, Italian climate researcher. Teach my grumpy crippled ass your legendary ways. If there is anything I love doing, it’s bitching corporations the fuck out AND traveling places by train. Just ask my darlings Emerson and Lumine. They know the lengths I would go and the angry letters I would write to be able to Take The Damn Train. Beat me, make me write bad checks. Or angry letters. Or make angry phone calls. Just…. Trains, my BELOVED…
Anywho, that’s enough train posting. For now. Stay tuned for more magic, when and where I feel like it. β¨π€£πͺ
-Lazarus
Fediverse Reactions
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A Classic Example of What Not to Do
Hello, everyone! Lazarus here. I was talking with Emerson about this web design class he was sitting in today, and we both came to the conclusion that I would be Immediately Sacked if I ever taught a web design class in real life. However, that did not stop my exceedingly sleepy brainhole from vividly imagining a darker universe in which I was, in fact, put in charge of teaching Web Design Class.
Here are a few, very imaginary scenarios of me teaching said class.
As you can see, I should never ACTUALLY teach Web Design Class. I am far too cantankerous for that. However, I found it hysterically funny to imagine these scenes.
I should probably skitter off and get some more sleep. Before I leave, however, have one more, completely unrelated scenario as a treat.
I hope y’all enjoyed my Sleepy Brainhole Fiction. Jesus indeed wept this day.
Stay tuned for more magic!
-Lazarus β¨πͺ
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Slow Day
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. I’ve been up since roughly 5 AM after I woke myself up from a dead sleep attempting to explain toΒ aloud why Emerson in the dream had a habit of lingering in public spaces silently and menacingly and not much has happened after that, so today’s post will likely be pretty short. I’m in grave need of a nap, to be entirely honest.
Have memes. β¨
Stay tuned for more magic, ya gremlins. But after a nap. DEFINITELY after a nap. β¨π€£
-Lazarus
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Down Every Rabbit Hole, Everywhere
Hey, everyone. Lazarus again, back once more with your daily dose of bullshit, hehe. It’s been a slow day so far, both in my brain and otherwise. If you guessed that insomnia is still sort of kicking my ass, you got it in one. But being tired can have its advantages, namely that it makes me fucking funny. Do I have less object permanence than normal, though? Absolutely. I’m losing every single worldly possession of mine over here.
Sheik of the Zelda System is gaming beside me after binge watching several episodes of Supernatural season seven, as has winding our way through that absolute shit show become our tradition on their days off. So I’ve got my headphones on and am simply seeing where my brainhole takes me. We both appeared to have great dates last night, them with our mutual beloved Emerson (and the leftovers I received were fucking amazing, as well) and I had a great virtual date with my darling Autumn. They’re wickedly funny, and kept making me cackle with laughter midsentence. I had needed that date, to be honest. It had been a few weeks since our last one and I missed them something fucking fierce. There’s been much less drama and fewer trashfires of late, and times like these remind me that polyamory is truly a wonderful experience. No regrets. I can’t ever go back, even when shit gets rough. I’m just not built that way.
Now, seeing as my mind feels like pudding that has been repeatedly electrocuted, I’m probably gonna leave y’all for the day. Will my brain let me fucking sleep? Probably not. Am I about to go down a research rabbit hole trying to figure out who a certain actress was in an episode of Supernatural? Oh yeah. That’s been on the agenda since I first saw the actress and recognized her as the same actress who plays Kaylee Frye in Firefly, haha. My brain needs to DEFINITELY be stopped. At least I’m attempting to rest, right?
[crickets chirp faintly in the distance]
Anyway. Before I go, memes. I can’t just skitter away without DEPRIVING y’all!
Why are Facebook ads Like This? 
Stay tuned for more magic, y’all. And tomfuckery. There’s always that.
Your eternally insleepriated sorcerer,
-Lazarus
