Open Sorcery

Tag: memes

  • On Hooking ‘Em and Cooking ‘Em (Get Your Minds Out Of The Gutter, You Sinners)

    Hello, assembled host. Lazarus here once more with more bullshit for your viewing pleasure. The below prompt from the journaling app Day One looks interesting, so I shall answer it in due time, but before I get into the thick of it, have a fucking meme I cooked up last night that is tangentially related because I said so.

    Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

    Today’s prompt from Day One.
    An Occurrence from last night, January 4th, in the year of our Lord 2025.

    To answer the intriguing question the prompt posed, my answer is both. Why, you may ask? Because I’m an AuDHD gremlin with a fucking brainhole with a working knowledge of world history from my years spent as a tutor who happens to see the future on occasion due to a nifty combination of brain damage, annoyingly supercharged intuition, synesthesia, and neurodivergent pattern recognition. In short, my brain never shuts the fuck up, especially as I continue my inner work and find pockets of my mind that I have repressed for years. I have next to no sense of linear time or object permanence. Can I get a pretty damn accurate sense of who you are within five minutes of meeting you? Absolutely. Do I know where my cell phone is half the time? Oh gods no.

    And due to surviving a helluva lot of trauma, having a near perfect autobiographical memory, and being unusually well traveled due to being raised with an ass load of money and being so charismatic I annoy myself, I have many, many stories to tell on top of my knowledge of world history. I call these stories my Lore or my Tragic Backstory interchangeably depending on how I’m feeling that day. As demonstrated by the meme I shared above, people seem to like the stories that come out of my facehole.

    So yeah. I spend a lot of time thinking about both. Time isn’t linear, anyway, so what the hell? Mentally I’m almost constantly relaxing on a huge plot of land in Sullivan County, Pennsylvania ten years from now, or trying to find various belongings of mine that have disappeared into the fucking ether again. Where are Y’ALL mentally?

    Anywho, it’s almost my naptime. Before I go, have more memes and a video of me voice acting for a kitten who I call Sean Connery Nugget with the Zelda System. 🤣

    Goodnight, lovely gremlins. Tell me of your many travels in the comments, throw a party, do whatever you want. Just be excellent to each other, that’s all I ask. 💛 Until next time, stay tuned for more magic. – Lazarus

    PS. 2011 or so called and it wants you to have this earworm back 🤣

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  • Hellooooo, Boys (read: everyone) I’m Baaaaack

    Hi, everyone! I, Lazarus, have returned today, as promised, with whatever chaos and dipshittery my brain decides to throw onto this here blog. I don’t think I slept all that well last night, considering that I dreamt of a whole bunch of shit that I can’t quite recall, kept waking up, and the final straw was dreaming of my friend Delta asking if everyone present would be upset with them if she obtained a statue of a fairy doing a line of coke, immediately presenting said statue, everyone getting extremely pissed at them in the dream, and then “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye and Kimbra playing in my headphones exactly as that sequence ended. I woke up fucking cackling because what the fuck was that? I have never done cocaine, for the record, but my dreams are so fucking batshit that people have.. Asked questions. No, honey. That’s just my brainhole. No drugs are needed to spawn this sort of nonsense.

    For further context, I fell asleep with a playlist my now integrated headmate Allēna made several years ago called Blogging in my ears. I’ll embed it below:

    Then I checked the group chat I have with my partners Emerson and Zelda to find that Emerson had posed an Interesting Question to us. The question was something like the following: what breed of cat do you most see yourself as?

    This was my response:

    So that was how I woke up. I think it’s safe to say my emotional state was roughly in the ballpark of:

    Thanks, Google Emoji Combiner. You’re a wheelchair for my brain.

    Now, after several hours of Emerson and Zelda encouraging me to yell in the group chat and in DMs about my fictional characters and worlds because they’re both feeling various flavors of sick, my autism has been roughly satisfied and I need to probably eat something other than the couple handfuls of shredded sharp cheddar cheese I had earlier and see about a fucking nap or something to that effect.

    Now, if you’re wondering by this point if I struggle with some flavor of insanity, you are incorrect about the first part but goddamn right about the second. I’m about as batshit as the underside of your standard overpass in Austin, Texas at sundown, but I don’t struggle with it. I have a great deal of fun and giggle a lot✨.

    Before I take my leave of y’all, have  memes.

    Stay tuned for more magic, darling gremlins! Hehehe…

    -Lazarus ✨🪕💛

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  • Alexithymic Bypass

    Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. I don’t have a lot of energy right now. However, I’ve discovered that Google made a tool that combines certain emojis that I’ve found to be very handy when it comes to expressing emotions when I really have no idea where to start or am too tired to express the mixed bag I am experiencing emotionally. This is  roughly what I am feeling right now, for example.

    When you’re tired but still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

    I also want to share this cool playlist Theo cooked up 💛 Here it is:

    And as a fun bonus treat in honor of 2025 already being odd, here’s a perennial favorite playlist of mine from years ago, the Last Polycule at the End of the World.

    Insomnia and the cold weather have been kicking my ass physically and mentally and physically, but I’ve been having a lot of vivid dreams. So here’s a meme in honor of that that a friend/crush of mine sent me, lol.

    Manifestation. ✨

    I aim to be back tomorrow, lovely gremlins. Until then, I wish I was here:

    I found this from the page Xochitl Banks on Facebook. This sounds lovely to my cranky body.

    Stay tuned for more magic. I will be dealing with my cantankerous body, hahahaaaaa….

    -Lazarus

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  • The Himbo Who Sauntered To Earth

    Well, hello, everyone. This won’t be the typical sort of post you may have gotten used to seeing here on Open Sorcery. First, these are somewhat unprecedented circumstances.

    A few weeks ago, it was discovered that not every headmate in the system decided to integrate. Most of them did. However, we found out that River had constructed an integration-proof bomb shelter deep within the headspace in the event of  circumstances such as this, and he and a handful of others elected to not integrate. To that end, the system is only approximately 92% integrated. I am, if you haven’t guessed, dear reader, not Lazarus, either. Call me Theo. Rather than hole up in a bomb shelter for heaven knows how long, however, I am a relatively recent addition to the system.

    I joined to help Laz get a damn break. They’ve been puzzling through a great deal of stress and processing enormous volumes of trauma in a very short time, and frankly, although they’re making excellent progress sorting through things like burnout recovery, they need a hand. They are exhausted.

    They figured out a few days ago that if they take ibuprofen and acetomenophen in tandem with their other meds and supplements, not only are they nearly completely pain free most of the time, but their brain fog and fatigue is almost completely gone, as well. This left them with an overwhelming amount of information they suddenly had access to, and while they were making good time processing it, the sheer amount of information in their mind alone was beginning to overwhelm and distress them. So I stepped in at their request, and we have been switching in and out of front when one of us gets too tired to maintain front directly or when one of us is better suited for a certain task.

    So far, I have been attempting to categorize some of the information in this mind to make it more easy for Lazarus to work with. They have described lugging it all around as having “the Library of Alexandria in their head, except it’s all bunched up and interconnected with itself to such a degree that it’s impossible to even start to know where one topic begins or ends.” The sheer amount of interconnected, associated knowledge paralyzes them when it comes time to blog or even do something they know they would love, therefore keeping them trapped in a sinkhole of executive dysfunction and anxiety. I hope that if I can make heads or tails of it or at least start by doing something that isn’t nothing with all of it, it may make it easier for them to work with it all at the level they want to as they regain strength over time. I’ve also been taking on more of the physical self care tasks they normally can’t do because by some miracle, it’s easier for me and it doesn’t appear to drain me nearly as badly to attempt or complete them, so hopefully things become less of an anxiety hell for the system overall as time goes on.

    Laz has taken to calling me “the himbo who sauntered to Earth” because I keep pulling stunts in headspace to try and make them laugh. So far it’s just made them grumble at me, so I’ve given them more space. I don’t think putting a manhole cover on my head IMMEDIATELY after they said that I idle at Mach Jesus and making faces at them was the best idea in hindsight.

    Ah, well. I am doing my best to learn.

    Lazarus’ reaction every time he sees me at this point, I swear.

    I look forward to posting more, but for now, I think I am going to dissociate into music or something for the time being and possibly nap. It was a pleasure to meet all of you. As Lazarus says, stay tuned for more magic!

    -Theo xx

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