Open Sorcery

Tag: neurodivergence

  • Me whenever someone tells me to “act normal” or “tone myself down” -Allēna

    #disabilities #queer #trans #neurodivergence #madstudies #strokesurvivor #queerart

  • Presenting the finest spoof ad I’ve ever made:

    RIP Steve Jobs. This design Advertising?? poking fun at?? object impermanence is for you.

    -Allēna

    #ActuallyADHD #apple #spoof #shitposting #actuallyautistic #actuallyAudhd #NEISvoid #objectimpermanence #iforgot #graphicdesign #neurodivergence

  • Object impermanence thoughts..

    When we were younger, Xavier would often help us clean up our room and things because we would find it extremely overwhelming due to the sheer amount of crap we had (and frankly didn’t need or want in hindsight) and the fact that we would forget where we put the shit we did want five minutes later.

    So he’d have us make up our bed and use it as a staging area, gently but firmly guiding us through sorting our things into piles of shit to throw away, shit to file in certain cabinets, and generally keeping us on task as a body double. It was much easier to clean that way.

    He wouldn’t yell, he’d crack jokes and tell stories, he was a great person to clean with. He himself was neurodivergent to shit and his office was quite often a wreck, but the man was a goddamned genius and he was one of the only people who could motivate me in particular calmly.

    Memories of cleaning with him are some of the only fond memories of doing chores we have. Most of the rest are very traumatic and unpleasant.

    I got to thinking about cleaning with him because I just dumped my afternoon dose of meds out on my bed to see what I was doing better, using the bed as a staging area like he used to do with me..

    I miss him.

    -Allēna

  • Regarding boredom..

    These prompts, have been going OFF lately. Here’s today’s.

    What bores you?

    Well, I am an AuDHDer, so, in short… Pretty much everything after a point, fortunately or unfortunately. My brain is hardwired for two things, as best I can determine, and those things are patterns and novelty, such that after I get used to something, I can tune it out. It can, in every meaningful way, cease to exist to me.

    That skill has served me very well during situations where I was being actively abused – I would memorize my abusers to such a degree that I could work around them and they’d be all but nonexistent to me. In situations where I actually give a shit but things are just moving too damn slowly for my brain that processes shit at roughly the speed of the manhole we accidentally launched into space, it’s a helluva curse and I would rather die than be stuck in whatever situation I’m in waiting. Patience is not my strong suit. So I tend to live in my head a lot to pass the time.

    The one consistent exception to this is when something pisses me the fuck off. Then it’s eternally interesting and it’ll get stuck in my head until I solve it. I cannot count the number of special interests I’ve gotten into because someone told me I couldn’t ever do them.

    I am a contrarian little bitch who finds ways or fucking makes them…

    -Allēna

  • What’s this? Another prompt I want to actually take somewhat seriously?

    Who are your favorite people to be around?

    People who are straightforward, honest, and the only bullshit they give me is the joking kind. Preferably, they can see shit about me that I can’t, and can do shit that I can’t without making me feel like shit for it. They don’t talk my ear off constantly about meaningless shit and believe that words have as much power as actions and use both in tandem.

    I’m very picky about the people I surround myself with, and it’s a high bar because I have made peace with solitude most days, being mostly housebound and all, to the point where if I prefer being alone more than I enjoy spending time with a person, I simply won’t engage with them if I don’t have to. I am too tired and have too much shit to do (as well as people I actually like) to pay the people I dislike much mind. My energy is precious and I don’t have much of it. So I do my best to use it wisely. My favorite people get that and go to great lengths to help me protect the little energy I have.

    I’m not proud of a lot of the way my life has gone, and there’s a lot that happened that’s entirely outside of my control. However, I’m damn proud of the fact that I picked great people.

    -Allēna

  • This prompt is interesting.

    Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?

    In person socializing, mostly, unless you’re one of about five people on a very good day.

    Alongside that, we seem to be slowly losing the ability to speak aloud due to burnout and fatigue. It’s just… Not something we want to do much anymore. We would rather do shit than talk about it. Idk.

    -Lazarus

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  • I’m bored, so have a collection of memes that describe my headmate Castor.

    He’s the system’s original host, and is known for showing up, giving Zero Fucks, Saying Very Cryptic Things, and then disappearing again.

    What a fucking guy.

    -Lazarus

  • HE’S JUST LIKE ME FOR REAL 🤣🤣🤣

    One of my crushes sent me this and it basically hit me in the damn soul and I started crying laughing and had to share it here.

    If I don’t know you or trust you, I would rather do ANYTHING ELSE than acknowledge that you’ve just flirted with me, but believe me, I know, and believe me, I’m Fucking Panicking. Often for YEARS. OOOPS 🤣

    I do really like this guy, though…

    -Lazarus

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  • The Art of Bitching

    Well, this is an interesting prompt.

    What do you complain about the most?

    I tend to complain a lot about anything that’s difficult or exhausting for me while in the process of doing it. It helps me bypass my executive dysfunction and my deeply rooted perfectionism, which often makes it damn near physically painful to get out of my blanket lump, so cussing about having to do the task makes the task doable.

    It’s one of the joys I have discovered in adulthood, as when I was a child and teen, I was often made to do things without showing a hint of displeasure. My parents insisted that I did everything they wanted “with a cheerful heart”. So I often did, but gave them hell the rest of the time and would find ways to maliciously comply with that rule while doing the task. They learned pretty early that the only way to get me to do anything that I didn’t really give a shit about well was to pay me a king’s ransom 🤣. But now that I am away from them and better for it, I bitch about damn near everything that I have to do that doesn’t involve being cocooned in a blanket lump while in the process of getting shit done.

    I don’t mind being productive, for the record. I actually quite enjoy it. It just hurts a lot of the time. Bitching about the task at hand gets me to start the process of being productive, and I highly recommend it.

    How do y’all get shit done?

    -Allēna

  • Dear Internet Diary,

    I need a shower but my damn brain is not letting me do it. Instead, it is insisting that I do every damn thing else and taking me on infinite side quests.

    Help.

    Sincerely,

    -Lazarus

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