Dear haters, why do you insist on attempting to clown on me for things like being trans when there are 5322122 infinitely funnier fuckups per week to clown on me about? Like this one, for example: -AllÄna #fuckup #spotify #stoner #disabilities #NEISvoid #playlists
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here again.
Today has been another slow day, but a productive one. The Zelda System is off of work today and it’s our day to hang out and relax, so we’ve been catching up on shows and things. It was much needed, seeing as I only got about five hours of sleep and was thrown from it by a really shitty dream that appeared to be my subconscious attempting to unpack all of my trauma in one go. It wasn’t fun, so the relaxation was definitely needed.
I think the nightmares picking back up randomly is ironically kind of a good sign because it means my brain feels safe enough to process the fuckshit more deeply, I suppose. Yay. That’s the shitty thing about life stabilizing overall.. I have ample time to think and I get lost in my mind now that I have found it all, even when I am asleep.
Also, it’s funny to note that the irritatingly universal phenomenon that is cheating dreams still happen when you’re polyamorous, and can happen about cheating in polyamory. That’s what the nightmare was about. I didn’t know my bra would cook that truckload of horseshit up, but here we are. I have no fucking clue what spawned this nonsense. Normally upon waking I can identify a trigger for my dreams that I had briefly encountered in the past few days, but I have absolutely no idea what spawned this one. So I guess we’re dealing with this flavor of nightmare now. The nightmares have been lifelong, and they pertain to whatever fucking drama my brainhole decides to throw at the current fronter at the time. Same song, different verse, I suppose.
I think I’m going to attempt a nap and pray to whatever deity might be listening that I don’t have any nightmares this time. Huzzah. But first, memes and a playlist that I was up until almost 4 AM concocting, hehe.
Stay tuned for more magic, beloved gremlins!
-Lazarus
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. I don’t have a lot of energy right now. However, I’ve discovered that Google made a tool that combines certain emojis that I’ve found to be very handy when it comes to expressing emotions when I really have no idea where to start or am too tired to express the mixed bag I am experiencing emotionally. This is roughly what I am feeling right now, for example.
I also want to share this cool playlist Theo cooked up đ Here it is:
And as a fun bonus treat in honor of 2025 already being odd, here’s a perennial favorite playlist of mine from years ago, the Last Polycule at the End of the World.
Insomnia and the cold weather have been kicking my ass physically and mentally and physically, but I’ve been having a lot of vivid dreams. So here’s a meme in honor of that that a friend/crush of mine sent me, lol.
Manifestation. â¨
I aim to be back tomorrow, lovely gremlins. Until then, I wish I was here:
Stay tuned for more magic. I will be dealing with my cantankerous body, hahahaaaaa….
-Lazarus
Hey, everyone! This Ellie. Itâs been a bit of a long day and a longer night, but things are quiet and calm as the sun is coming up. So Iâve put our cozy East Coast playlist on and am rambling here to get my thoughts out before I finally pass out for a while. I had an idea to write about the first song that comes up here and any associations that come up with it. The song that came on first was âI Wish I Was The Moonâ by Neko Case, an exquisite and warm sounding folky song (I apologize for not being the most articulate at present). Fortunately, I have associations aplenty with this song via my headmate AllÄnaâs memories.
AllÄna may have in fact wished she was the moon when she discovered Neko Case in the systemâs teens (see: our Tragic Backstory and Lore) but we didnât discover âI Wish I Was The Moonâ first. Instead, AllÄna heard a song of Caseâs playing on our local public radio station back where we grew up in Texas, âNight Still Comesâ. At the time, she was taking a break from writing the story that would later become her science fiction audio drama The Third Prophecy and preparing to revisit her post-apocalyptic novel 2029, which she had written entirely longhand some years prior when she couldnât access the Internet during school days. As she reconstructed 2029 in her mind, she played âNight Still Comesâ on a loop. She played the goddamn thing so many times, in fact, that our brother, Blue, loudly complained about it to anyone who would listen.
I will put it to you all bluntly, 2029 sucked ass the whole way down. There are no two ways about it. However, it was a fascinating concept she simply didnât have the skill at the time to execute. Set in the nearish future in Central Texas after a massive solar storm takes out all of the power worldwide, it was chillingly prescient in a lot of ways, especially in light of the recent solar storms in the past few months, and considering that she began work on the story when she was only fourteen!
She also later married a man she had based a character off of, Fang, who was an unhinged Doomsday prepper in the story. This ended up not being too far from the truth. When she revisited the story, however, she drew heavily from âNight Still Comesâ and music like it, creating a very dark folk/alt country soundtrack for herself to listen to while she wrote. She followed this pattern for a lot of her later work, as well, using the music she loved to listen to as a tool to help with world building and to unblock her when she got stuck. I believe she made a grand total of four playlists while drafting the first Third Prophecy audio drama that we later combined into one huge playlist.
With the first Third Prophecy audio drama, the musical tie ins went a bit deeper than simple musical accompaniment. While not necessary to understand the plot, several songs did play key roles in helping her shape the setting and determine where the story was going. One such example of this is a town called Sunday. She named the town Sunday in honor of a song she cherished, âSunday Bloody Sundayâ by U2. Now, I donât want to spoil anything for you, but if you listen to the song and read the script (or listen to it once we have a production of it ready), youâll notice some, ah, key similarities. These are intentional.
If you recall, weâre practicing sorcerers. This playlist is, in simplest terms, a spell. Itâs intended to manifest a move back to the East Coast over time. Eight made a mad dash to Philadelphia in 2021 and had to leave pretty shortly thereafter, but we keep getting summoned out there for one reason or another about once yearly and we miss it every day in the interim. So we want to move back there and stay there. The East Coast is home, even though we were born and raised in Texas. We feel like weâre in exile living in the Midwest in the meantime, and we hate it here, to be entirely honest.
Yet, while weâre stuck out here, we are determined to make the best of it to the fullest extent of our ability. And if we hadnât moved out here, we would have never met our beloved Emerson, so good things come even from shitty situations sometimes. He feels even more like home than the East Coast does, and he makes this place with its overly friendly people tolerable. Heâs a very sweet baby.
So three cheers for a very slow acting spell in the form of this delightful East Coast playlist! Hip, hip, huzzah! You get the picture..
I hope any of this made sense. Having a brain that feels like it is filled with 85% cotton balls and 15% water has its challenges. Mostly in the form of wet cotton. Oh, hey, âAngelinaâ by Pinegrove is on, but thatâs a ramble for a different day. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a snake themed rager in the headspace to crash attend. I mean, attend. You didnât see anything. It wasnât me, I swear!
Stay tuned for more magic (and strange rambles), as always!
-Ellie, Your Faithful Super-Admin