faceless blessings in disguise
looking askance at gift horses
with bejeweled eyes
are they empty or full to the brim
do I hoard them
or do I give them away
is it finally my time to come out of hiding
after all the time that was stolen from me
this little thing is winking at me offscreen
I think it's telling me everything is gonna be alright
but that's what they said before
and if I stuck them in a lineup their dead eyes would all glint the same
people told me when I
got up from the piano bench that fame
would be inevitable
I was always going to be someone
I was always going to do something
(as if I wasn't already a gift)
time after time I tried to run
time after time I tried to just be
dissolve into winter nights and simply be
unremarkable with the man I swore I had chosen
but what I know of myself is in the doing
all I know of myself is in what I choose to give
away
I let the rest of myself die
collapsed into dead star self hatred
lost somewhere deep in kaleidoscopic shadow
-Allēna 12/21/2025
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