So here y’all go. She can yell at me later, I don’t care. It’s worth it.

I eat, I sleep, I feel my grief deep
I want to cry, I want to scream
But there are times it seems
I can't remember how to speak anymore

One time I dreamt you stared at me
Slack jawed as I was carried
On broad shoulders through a revolving door
And I hate to say it but I think
That's the kindest I can recall
Your eyes ever beholding me
And I don't ever want more than
The simple vindication of your
silent cry matching mine
All those nights years before

You don't know me, you never did
I never wanted you to
You were more in love with the bathroom mirror image of me
Than who I really was at my core

But I go on, I mock you now
The jokes practically write themselves
You're snowed in while I fly free
Not yours, never yours, not even close -
Not anymore 

-unnamed notes app poem by Lēna, posted by me (Castor)