Hey, everyone. This is Fen. Today was difficult, there are no two ways about it. Eight was in front for most of it, and he started feeling really stressed out about all the shit he had to get done. So he started talking to Emerson’s attorney alter Castor dragged through the mud the other day about everything going on. The basic gist of it was that he’s beyond exhausted because he is often placed in positions where he has to save the people he loves from all manner of horrible predicaments often outside of their control when he’s barely able to take care of himself or they’ll face a terrible fate, and he’s burnt out and done with the whole damn thing. He’s got the means and charisma to stand up for people and help them where they can’t help themselves, but he’s also just one guy trying to shoulder the weight of an unfair economic system and make a difference when things objectively shouldn’t be this way, and it’s hurting him.

I can’t really blame him. Looking back through the logs, he’s had to carry himself through unspeakable horrors, often privately, and then after he was some measure of safe, he began helping those he loved get out because he couldn’t bear to see them suffer due to circumstances that they didn’t cause when he had the mind, skill, and connections to get them out. But now, years later, he’s tired and wants something better for himself and everyone he loves. The body is fucking bedbound, for crying out loud, and just because he can help doesn’t mean he always should, especially when the stress is so bad it’ll take him out for days to weeks. He knows it isn’t his responsibility to save everyone or even anyone but himself, but he worries about what will happen to the people he loves if he taps out. And honestly, I don’t know. I hate the thought of it as much as he does.

So we’re at a fucking loss here. We are tired of being heroes, because every time we save someone, the burnout gets more intense, we’re placed on an even higher pedestal, and we just really want a goddamn vacation.

I think that’s all I’ve got for y’all today, unfortunately.

Stay tuned for more magic and internal screaming!

-Fen