You can listen to the episode here.
-Allēna
Category: Allēna’s Posts
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I swear to God the state of Wisconsin is bound and determined to make it as hard as possible for divorcées to get remarried.
Emerson and I have been on not one, but two wild goose chases to the courthouse to try and apply for our damn marriage license.
I keep seeing reasons for the six month waiting period like “it’s to keep families together” and “to make sure divorcées are making the right decision and not jumping into another marriage”.
Bitch, Emerson and I have been married in every way but legal for going on three years now. Just let us make it official without another fucking byzantine hoop to jump through.
Aaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-Allēna
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My friend has cooked up another fundraiser bundle for me, and several amazing creators have added zines and other creations.
It’s 83% funded already, but any shares, donations, and engagement mean the world to me, as my husband and I are being evicted come Jan 31 for speaking out against our abusive ex.
It’s here: https://itch.io/b/3454/fundraiser-for-lazarus-halliwell-act-2
-Allēna
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Yesterday was a pretty good day, all things considered.
I braved my camera shyness and told the backstory for my poem “to dance with a cyclone”, which I’ll post below:
Then Emerson and I filled out our marriage license application and made the appointment to submit it. I’m so excited.
One of our best friends also offered to get us a stay at a nice hotel in town after our wedding as a gift, and we took him up on that, so that’s booked, as well, eee 💛
I really need to get back to posting earlier…
-Allēna
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I had what I think is probably a white person rite of passage tonight.
I had Red Lobster for the first time in my life tonight. It was mid, except for the cheddar bay biscuits. I am thoroughly disappointed 😔.
-Allēna
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I performed a very old song of mine tonight.
This is “I Was The Sun” from my record Primrose Path (2017, rerecorded 2023) live at Poet’s Monday.
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We wrote object poems in workshop today.
faceless blessings in disguise
looking askance at gift horses
with bejeweled eyes
are they empty or full to the brim
do I hoard them
or do I give them away
is it finally my time to come out of hiding
after all the time that was stolen from me
this little thing is winking at me offscreen
I think it's telling me everything is gonna be alright
but that's what they said before
and if I stuck them in a lineup their dead eyes would all glint the same
people told me when I
got up from the piano bench that fame
would be inevitable
I was always going to be someone
I was always going to do something
(as if I wasn't already a gift)
time after time I tried to run
time after time I tried to just be
dissolve into winter nights and simply be
unremarkable with the man I swore I had chosen
but what I know of myself is in the doing
all I know of myself is in what I choose to give
away
I let the rest of myself die
collapsed into dead star self hatred
lost somewhere deep in kaleidoscopic shadow
The object I based the poem on. -Allēna 12/21/2025
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Well, I TRIED to perform at a domestic violence spoken word event my friend organized today.
But I got so fuckin triggered that I couldn’t do it, which honestly says a lot about how effective the writers and organizer were, and ended up eating my favorite Milwaukee comfort food, Mad Chicken, instead. Emerson was also a phenomenal comfort.
-Allēna
