Open Sorcery

Category: Allēna’s Posts

  • I wrote this today. It’s called “why I love you”.

    you asked me once 
    suspended over a chasm of grief 
    why I loved you 
    I couldn't string the words around you to tell you then
    so I shall attempt to tell you now 

    you are a lavender field 
    earth still wet from spring rain
    and loving you is learning to dance again 
    hair still wet through the rows of flowers on 
    these crippled legs 
    no matter how long it takes to get the steps right
    no matter how long it takes to move without falling 
    you are a game of chance 
    and loving you is taking the tenderest risk I've 
    ever known 
    loving you is lilac, pale blue, and gold like the 
    subtle ring around your irises when you look at 
    me

    loving you is slow mornings and evenings that 
    always seem to go too fast 
    loving you is enough memories to fill a Martian 
    year and enough emotion to fill an entire planet 
    loving you is savoring 1001 days and nights 
    for all they're worth and never, ever taking each 
    other for granted
    loving you is allowing myself to be broken open
    and reborn, again and again 
    loving you is allowing you to do the same 
    and loving you is meeting the people you love 
    (because it's never just been us against 
    this crazy world)
    and finding that I trust you even more after doing 
    so because they're some of the finest people 
    I've ever known 

    you are multiverses 
    you are adventure 
    you are passion and fire 
    you are the ripple of time dancing 
    you are everything and nothing at once 
    loving you is learning to hold all of that
    in a single touch (and God does it feel so good) 
    I bet everything I had and then some on you
    because the moment I saw you, I knew I was 
    yours 
    and I would fucking do it again in a heartbeat 
    that is why I love you. 
    -Allēna 12/1/2025

  • “We really are very small, aren’t we? Fungi are like a map of the stars here on this planet”

    -fire bars from an unknown headmate who said this upon learning more about the fungi growing at the Chernobyl meltdown site and promptly vanished

  • Emerson and I went to a lovely witchy shop today.

    I got a self love kit and he got an art print. We also spent 3 or so hours in a laundromat in the snow, but it was SO worth it. -Allēna

  • There’s supposed to be a big snow storm coming in.

    Reports are calling for over a foot of snow. It was clear today, though. We’re under a winter storm warning until Sunday. It’s only November. I suppose we’ll see…

    -Allēna

  • My new headmate has a villain song.

    I wanted to post it here now that things with Zelda have gone…south, as it were.

    It is titled “Australis.” Eight wrote it a year ago. Enjoy, along with a bonus meme.

    -Allēna

  • This is my performance at Freight 38 tonight.

    I have no idea what to call it, but it’s about my most recent breakup and the maelstrom of emotions that have come with it. Lazarus wrote it at workshop this past week and I performed it with assistance from Australis to not break down onstage.

    I’m thankful for Australis, he’s been really helpful as a brace while I process all of this fuckery..

    Emerson filmed this, as well.

    -Allēna

  • Allēna performed a very vulnerable piece tonight at Poet’s Monday.

    This is called “body politics.” Here is the performance.

    -Australis, he/him, hello, I’m new.

    Fediverse Reactions

  • Well, I found out today that Zelda cheated on me. They’ve been summarily dumped.

    If you need me, I’ll be in a TV hole or asleep, probably. I’d be more upset about it except that I’ve been over the bullshit for a long time. This has been the latest in the long string of utter nonsense. I don’t have the spoons to be all that pissed anymore.

    -Allēna

  • Emerson had a Stitch plushie commissioned for me!

    Here he is:

    -Allēna

  • untitled 11/16/2025

    the wind in the trees outside my window
    sounds like waves
    and occasionally I get a scent that takes me back
    before four unhappy new years wore me down
    I am less agoraphobic now
    but this smell is fall’s last breath as it
    collapses into winter
    and I collapsed then, too
    I thought I’d seen the last of me
    I tried to warn you in songs that were everything short of a scream
    when nothing else seemed to make sense to you
    sparse like the first weekend of a midwestern
    december
    (just as cold as you became)
    (black ice dead eyes and all)
    and failing that, I vanished
    into the empty western sky

    but once it looked like I could be happy
    once it looked like I could have it all
    you chased me through the autumns, the winters
    and the years as if none of what you’d done
    to me before mattered
    over and over and over again
    I never understood it
    why was I so important
    and ultimately
    why do you pursue a vision of me
    that was never real at all

    -Allēna