Updates to come.
-Allēna
Category: Allēna’s Posts
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Had a doctor’s appointment today.
My provider got me a referral to a GI specialist for my gut pain, is gonna bother neurology about FINALLY getting me in for an EEG, and when I told her about how I got my caffeine allergy (2,000 mg of caffeine per day for years), she exclaimed “THAT’S BAD!!” as if she were scolding an unruly cat 🤣
-Allēna -
I call this one “song of experience”.
you claim that i'm better than you, when in reality
i’m nothing but a practiced poor player
who knows how to call fire and gold from nothing but words
i stand before you and strut and fret my hour upon the stage
in much the same way i did since i was a child -
and when i became a teenager i found the voice of a haunted pipe organ
that only increased in volume and resonance with time and skill
and when i was 24 i unsexed myself and learned to roar
got some damned spots on my hands
(i roar about them, too)
i learned the difference between hard and soft, between open palms
and hidden knives
and built a cathedral for my pipe organ voice
burnt out like a caravan or a candle a time or nineteen
so don’t ever think you’re better than me
learn to screw your courage to the sticking place
dust off the keys, call the fire
and sing
07/28/2025
-Allēna -
I performed this at the poetry workshop yesterday.
This is my headmate Eight’s poem “you wanted eve, not me” from our third poetry collection Singing Molten Gold To The Morning. I’ll stick a widget for it below the performance. Enjoy.
-Allēna
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I wrote this at the poetry workshop I went to today:
i'm not sorry for the wisdom that pours out of me, breaking through the cracks, bursting at the seams
i'm one of the rare few that can love to the point of invention, but believe me, I can hate to the point of invention, unapologetically
and i'm not sorry for being myself -
a gordian knot, a bois d'arc tree,
a technicolor, queer, living scream you
could never even begin to hope to parse, cut down to size in
thirteen lifetimes.
i've danced in the space between life and death more times than
you've ever given yourself permission to live
and you will never destroy me, not even in death.
the empires i've built and burned
out of beauty and rage, the space i've claimed and wars i've waged
to create who i am when you don't even know who you are - and you are twice my age... i'm not sorry for that.
i've grown around you. i've loved around you. i've rested around you. i've learned that i didn't fucking deserve any of what you did to me. and i'm not sorry.
you should be. -
I went to a poetry workshop today and had a great time!!
Also, the owners of the place where the workshop was held make delicious hot sauces on the side – SO fucking tastyyyyy.. -Allēna
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I’ve been trying to figure out what to post all day.
so I’ll just say that my brain feels like this:
-Allena
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I keep hearing that numerous public figures have died in the past couple weeks or so.
RIP Andrea Gibson, Ozzy Osbourne, and now Hulk Hogan… I wonder if something is up in the stars. -Allēna
