(yes, dad jokes are gender neutral now.)
-Allēna
Excellence and batshittery, done on purpose.
I’m Lazarus. I make art, music, poems, plays, and magic for the quiet, brilliant, broken ones. If that is you, welcome home. I adopt your kind.
[Subscribe to my email list and I’ll send you a track I don’t remember recording.]
More about me here.
Please note that, with rare exceptions, any and all names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms except our own. We want to be able to speak freely without doxxing anyone.
Half the town is already under water and we’re under a state of emergency. We are safe where we are, thankfully, most of the damage appears to be located west of us, but many aren’t. I’m not okay right now emotionally and very worried. -Allēna
I have a blanket nest on the couch and everything. Wheeee. -Allēna

I think I also got sun sick, so I am about to go home and pass the fuck outtttt. -Allēna
I am the blank space you seek in your sorrow
nothing less and sadly nothing more
you are the shooter and I am the spotter
immortal, ever watchful
keeping lookout for dangers
you and others cannot see
I am the depth of night, the
tiny pauses between your
syncopated heartbeats
working double time.
in the end, there will be
no place for me.
I learned a long time ago that
no one would save me, so
I built my armor, piece by piece
and became the watchman,
became the tower, built my own
hell, brick by agonizing brick.
did you ever truly love me?
or did you love the black void
canvas you could project
everything you wanted and
wanted to be onto?
do you love me, or do you love
my silence, the fact that I
can read you like a page and
know you better than you know
yourself?
there's a reason prophets go mad
in fiction, you know. we see too
much, we know too much, we
scream warnings to ears unheeding
what do you do when I'm not
there? do you scream? do you
sing? or do you cease to exist
like me?
-Allēna 8/2/2025
You might have to scroll around a bit to see the full thing, but enjoy the full glory of my new zine, When The Lightning Strikes Me Back, now in DIGITAL BOOKLET FORM, thanks to the badass makers of Electric Zine Maker and the HTML5 template for the aforementioned software!
If you want copies of this zine for your very own to print and shit, I offer that now, too. Head on over here to get your copy!
-Allēna