-Allēna
Blog
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Didn’t get much sleep last night lol.
I was up late watching silly comedies with Emerson neither of us have seen in years (10 Things I Hate About You and most of The Parent Trap) So I am very, very tired today…
-Allēna
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I went to the poetry workshop with Emerson again today and as such, I come bearing gifts.
This was the result of a TTRPG roll and it’s called “everything’s coming up lavender”
i was 17 when you first came to me
mind threatening to unravel in shades of crimson
now i swear everything's coming up lavender and
golden brown, i'm much madder now and
while i can't say things are fine in this pit
of snakes we live in, at least i feel
somewhat safe now that i found the melody i
was looking for
the problem is that i sought you high and
low in all the wrong places, wrote my best songs
and lines to all the wrong people
it's sad to say that you found me at my worst, but
you loved me anyway
i'm a stubborn piece of shit and i know
you know that, so are you
that's part of why i love you so fucking much
neither of us know when to quit when we know exactly what we want
so are we living the dream? maybe not yet
but do we have the grit to get there?
absofuckinglutely. and one thing's for certain
i know i will never be bored again
so thank you. thank you for not
giving up on this raging bitch
thank you for sticking it out because
i loved you endlessly then and i love you endlessly now
-Allēna 8/3/2025
Here's the TTRPG if you want to snag a copy for yourself!Fediverse reactions
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So I hear y’all like TTRPGs on here.
My poetry writing TTRPG is included in the bundle that just went live today (I’ll include a widget so you can find it directly), and I’ll post links to examples of poems I’ve written using it as well.
The TTRPG:
Some examples:
One
Two – “letter to theseus”
Three
Four – “a brief inquiry into the shape of time”
Five – “sin eater”
Six – “ariadne’s thread”
Seven – “queer pressure”All six of these poems were written using Infinite Poems, and it’s helped me become a better poet and writer overall. I hope it helps y’all, too. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, tag me in what you make, and share this with your friends, foes, and anyone still under review!
-Allēna
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y’all get a two for one special tonight. this one’s called “queer pressure”.
after careful consideration, i have determined
that i didn’t know what it was like to put space between the
world and me, so i held everything and everyone at
an artificial distance while seeing too close, held everything
i ever earned in a vise grip and let myself slip into
the grip of my vices
i stared into the void so long that it blinked before i did
and then i mistook the deep nothing of it for your eyes
until there was nothing left but a deep, deep hole
here’s the thing about an addiction, though -
admitting you have it is the first step toward vindication
-Allēna 8/2/2025 -
this one is called “sin eater”.
i think you seared ghosts into my bones
down deep into the marrow
and time may be round, but i am forced to remain here
suffering, as all of time’s rivers and streams flow back into me
and the specters of all the things you whispered and lies you screamed
are made to ride with me too
i am not religious, but i am spiritual
and i am your confessor, always have been,
and i worry i always will be
grayscale, amoral, atemporal priest of these jagged streets
i am the one person who will never forgive you
no matter how hard you try to forget me
where can i go and who can i turn to
who can unmake, unbaptize, undo what you did to me
when you already tried me by fire and inducted me
into your thorny order? so this is my confession:
i didn’t want this, no matter how much you think i needed it
and this life of yours? you can keep it
-Allēna 8/2/2025 -
After a long delay…
I am pleased as punch to announce that the Insomnia Jam Bundle is FINALLY LIVE!!! Pay whatever you can and peruse stories, poetry, zines and even games from a wide variety of creators inspired by the things that keep us up at night. Grab it here.
-Allēna
Fediverse reactions
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I’ve had a good, if tiring, day so far.
I went to a clothing swap called Fat Body Hotties despite my initial reluctance (I’ve been veryyyy tired all day) and had a great time and met so many amazing people. Then I tried Kopps Custard with Emerson and a friend of ours who came with, and Emerson and I are back home now. Also, a magazine I’ve submitted work to followed me back on TWO social media platforms, and according to another friend who’s worked with them, that’s a good sign that they might include something of mine in my next issue??? Aaaaaaaaa!! (happy screech)
I hope your day is going as well as mine.
-Allēna
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“a brief inquiry into the shape of time”
“you can always say no” is the second oldest lie
there is, up there with “you will always be mine”
and if that seems wrong to you, consider the following -
i left you because you were too close a mirror to all
the things i swore had claws and drank away to sleep at night
and i will always elude you because you vowed to face me and never could
-Allēna 8/1/2025Fediverse reactions
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“to be the lightning”
when the lightning strikes me back
and my cracked-cup mind can no longer hold
all the subtle fire it’s meant to contain
find me at the edge of a cold, dark place
i wanted to be the lightning,
not simply the bearer of it,
but sometimes both dream and nightmare
outpace me and i cannot find my way home
so if the world begins to slant
remind my parched mouth
that i am both cupbearer and bitter wine
reforge both sides of my twisted spine
when the lightning
strikes
me
back
-Allēna 7/31/2025Fediverse reactions
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