This actually fucking happened. My phone is named the fucking HOSTAGE on Google.
Which one of my fucking headmates did this?! Since we’re mostly integrated, the world may never know…
-Allēna
Blog
-
New painting just dropped!
My friend mk saw my post about cursing profile photos and asked for a new banner for its socials. So I delivered. It has a cool hot pink and blank void punk aesthetic across its socials which I frankly love (hot pink is my favorite color) so this was a pleasure to paint.
The banner is below!
I also highly recommend following mk for excellent takes on what’s going on in the world and brilliant poetry, etc..
If anyone wants their socials artistically cursed by us truly, drop us a line!
-Allēna
-
My tiny cat has BETRAYED ME.
A shitty photo of the perpetrator herself and me from earlier this morning. I am on the couch tonight because Zelda is crashing at Emerson‘s and my place and there’s no room in the bed, and tiny girl was keeping my spot warm. You’d think this was good, right? Wrong.
This utter baby farts like an ADULT CLYDESDALE.
I love this cat but JESUS HENRY CHRIST. My couch? Half ruined. My dreams? Probably gonna be nightmares. This absolute baby love farts like an adult HUMAN MAN. Her farts should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention as some form of inhumane biochemical warfare.
I wish I were kidding. Her farts need to be studied for science because they’re worse than Emerson’s and mine COMBINED.
Sheeeesh.
I’m going to attempt to sleep if I’m not faced with more cruel and unusual cat punishment…
-Allēna
-
Thanks, charisma.
People tend to act like this when they see me:
Meanwhile I’m like this for years:
Do I ever figure it out? Occasionally. Does my brain shit a sideways brick first. Almost always.
YAY, emotions!
-Allēna
Fediverse reactions
-
-
True.
Reblog via Wuzzy
Someone just perfectly summed up the transphobic policies of some states:
“If you have to sign legislation to enforce a gender binary, you lose the argument that that binary is natural.”
Yes. Non-binary people exist no matter what the law says.
We will always exist. Suck it, phobes.
-Allēna
-
Coffeeshop AU
Having worked in two different Starbucks locations for the better part of a year, I can confirm that yes, coffeeshops are an alternate dimension of fuckery. Except most of the time, in my case, the fuckery in question was me.
Storytime, fuckers.
In 2016, a few months after losing my dad, I decided it was a brilliant fucking idea to start working at a Starbucks while in Maryland college because I didn’t want to go back to Texas that summer and wanted extra pocket money in the meantime.
I ended up going back to Texas anyway and working through the summer at the local Starbucks in my town there.
It was there that I met a guy who walked in one day after I started teaching myself violin like the absolute shit gremlin that I was. We’ll call him Kylo. Kylo had a ukulele on his back that my over caffeinated brainhole mistook for a violin. Kylo and I got to talking so hard that I was reprimanded by my supervisor and sent packing to clean to the very batshit bathrooms that played host to all manner of filth. Kylo went home, or so I thought. Turns out he came back inside and gave me his number on a napkin or something. I don’t fucking know. It was a long time ago.
We got to talking more after I got off of work and didn’t stop talking. We started dating awhile later.
There was just one small problem.
I was a disaster. And I was one disaster in an unacknowledged DID system that was bursting at the seams. So the relationship went about as well as you’d expect.
In other words, it ended pretty damn horribly less than a month later. Not knowing how to process any of my insurmountable grief or anything I was dealing with at the time, I turned to my good old friend songwriting, and wrote and recorded my second album A Stranger Who Listened in the span of about a week. Fun fact, I recorded it in a practice room at a university in Idaho that I call “Mormon college”. Did I end up going to Mormon college later on? You bet your sorry ass I did. Fuck that place.
I followed that thing up a few months later with my extended play Nothing Will Keep Us Together and my album North, extensions of the same attempt to process… Well… Everything.
Another time, back at Maryland college, my headmate Eight decided to be the fucking drama and run a FUCKING 5k in full equestrian gear, though. I think we have photos still.
We are insane.
-Allēna
-
My cat children are so cute I had a fucking MELTDOWN today…
How are they so small??? And so good??
-Allēna
Fediverse reactions
-
-
[mental fax machine noises intensify]
This is what my brain feels like. Dialup circa 2000. This has been Allēna and I approve this message.
Jesus wept.
Fediverse reactions
-
-
I cleaned up the body’s face, lol.
The facial hair was making me fucking dysphoric, so I took a razor to it and fixed it. Enjoy my very tired face. I certainly feel better now.
Laz is agender and doesn’t give a flying fuck how the body looks, and Theo is masc but clean shaven himself. So this decision is a good one system wide.
Now it’s time to clean this rancid vessel…
-Allēna (she/her)
Fediverse reactions
-
