It is with great pleasure, pomp, and circumstance that I announce the release of “Apocalypse You” on our Patreon page. Paid subscribers to our Patreon can grab a copy at their leisure 💛
Juneau, this one’s for you.
-Allēna
If you enjoy our work, go ahead and subscribe to Open Sorcery while you’re at it!
Sometimes having DID and headmates that are JUST as talented as you at both the same things – and different ones – is a fuckin’ gas, y’all.
Back in 2014-ish I wrote a poem that turned into one of my better-known songs about a crush of mine. It was called “My Island”. I was obsessed with the Mutiny on the Bounty for reasons I still can’t quite articulate, and the second verse contains one of my favorite lines I’ve ever written:
“Be the Fletcher to my island, be the Fletcher coming coming home”
I’m not entirely sure why that line gets me so bad more than a decade later. It may be the fact that it’s a reference to Fletcher Christian, leader of the Mutiny on the Bounty, choosing the South Pacific over duty, country, etc., and settling with a few members of his crew in one of the most remote places on Earth, Pitcairn Island, after mutinying, and wanting to feel chosen like that. Maybe it’s my love for history references in general. Maybe it’s that I still yearn for people like I did when I was 14-17 and I struggle to express it now, and I love that line so much because it’s My Peak Teenage Yearning, something I feel like I can’t verbalize anymore, even though I’m arguably more safe now to do so than I was then.
Anyway, here’s the original take as it appeared on our first self released EP Fletcher Coming Home: Good Stuff From 2014.
A different cut appeared awhile later on our first album The Mellon Session as well:
But my favorite version of “My Island” came much later when Eight was host and he snuck into a church while bored out of his fucking skull to record this absolutely achingly beautiful take of “My Island” for his then-partner Juneau.
I can still feel the longing even now, and his arrangement is so fucking beautiful.
Holy shit.
-Allēna
This was the result of a TTRPG roll and it’s called “everything’s coming up lavender”
i was 17 when you first came to me
mind threatening to unravel in shades of crimson
now i swear everything's coming up lavender and
golden brown, i'm much madder now and
while i can't say things are fine in this pit
of snakes we live in, at least i feel
somewhat safe now that i found the melody i
was looking for
the problem is that i sought you high and
low in all the wrong places, wrote my best songs
and lines to all the wrong people
it's sad to say that you found me at my worst, but
you loved me anyway
i'm a stubborn piece of shit and i know
you know that, so are you
that's part of why i love you so fucking much
neither of us know when to quit when we know exactly what we want
so are we living the dream? maybe not yet
but do we have the grit to get there?
absofuckinglutely. and one thing's for certain
i know i will never be bored again
so thank you. thank you for not
giving up on this raging bitch
thank you for sticking it out because
i loved you endlessly then and i love you endlessly now
-Allēna 8/3/2025
Here's the TTRPG if you want to snag a copy for yourself!
My poetry writing TTRPG is included in the bundle that just went live today (I’ll include a widget so you can find it directly), and I’ll post links to examples of poems I’ve written using it as well.
The TTRPG:
Some examples:
One
Two – “letter to theseus”
Three
Four – “a brief inquiry into the shape of time”
Five – “sin eater”
Six – “ariadne’s thread”
Seven – “queer pressure”
All six of these poems were written using Infinite Poems, and it’s helped me become a better poet and writer overall. I hope it helps y’all, too. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, tag me in what you make, and share this with your friends, foes, and anyone still under review!
-Allēna
after careful consideration, i have determined
that i didn’t know what it was like to put space between the
world and me, so i held everything and everyone at
an artificial distance while seeing too close, held everything
i ever earned in a vise grip and let myself slip into
the grip of my vices
i stared into the void so long that it blinked before i did
and then i mistook the deep nothing of it for your eyes
until there was nothing left but a deep, deep hole
here’s the thing about an addiction, though -
admitting you have it is the first step toward vindication
-Allēna 8/2/2025
i think you seared ghosts into my bones
down deep into the marrow
and time may be round, but i am forced to remain here
suffering, as all of time’s rivers and streams flow back into me
and the specters of all the things you whispered and lies you screamed
are made to ride with me too
i am not religious, but i am spiritual
and i am your confessor, always have been,
and i worry i always will be
grayscale, amoral, atemporal priest of these jagged streets
i am the one person who will never forgive you
no matter how hard you try to forget me
where can i go and who can i turn to
who can unmake, unbaptize, undo what you did to me
when you already tried me by fire and inducted me
into your thorny order? so this is my confession:
i didn’t want this, no matter how much you think i needed it
and this life of yours? you can keep it
-Allēna 8/2/2025
when the lightning strikes me back
and my cracked-cup mind can no longer hold
all the subtle fire it’s meant to contain
find me at the edge of a cold, dark place
i wanted to be the lightning,
not simply the bearer of it,
but sometimes both dream and nightmare
outpace me and i cannot find my way home
so if the world begins to slant
remind my parched mouth
that i am both cupbearer and bitter wine
reforge both sides of my twisted spine
when the lightning
strikes
me
back
-Allēna 7/31/2025
i'm not sorry for the wisdom that pours out of me, breaking through the cracks, bursting at the seams
i'm one of the rare few that can love to the point of invention, but believe me, I can hate to the point of invention, unapologetically
and i'm not sorry for being myself -
a gordian knot, a bois d'arc tree,
a technicolor, queer, living scream you
could never even begin to hope to parse, cut down to size in
thirteen lifetimes.
i've danced in the space between life and death more times than
you've ever given yourself permission to live
and you will never destroy me, not even in death.
the empires i've built and burned
out of beauty and rage, the space i've claimed and wars i've waged
to create who i am when you don't even know who you are - and you are twice my age... i'm not sorry for that.
i've grown around you. i've loved around you. i've rested around you. i've learned that i didn't fucking deserve any of what you did to me. and i'm not sorry.
you should be.
***
#writingcommunity #amwriting #amwritingpoetry #punk #cripplepunk #disabilities #survivor #cptsd #spilledink #spilledwords #trans #poetsofmastodon #gay #queer #queerwriter #rebirth #healing #rest #NEISvoid
Have a selfie, for I am bored. -Allēna #trans #transmasc #gay #gaypride #transpride #pridemonth #tealeyes #glasses
