“to be the lightning”

when the lightning strikes me back
and my cracked-cup mind can no longer hold
all the subtle fire it’s meant to contain
find me at the edge of a cold, dark place

i wanted to be the lightning,
not simply the bearer of it, 
but sometimes both dream and nightmare
outpace me and i cannot find my way home

so if the world begins to slant 
remind my parched mouth
that i am both cupbearer and bitter wine
reforge both sides of my twisted spine

when the lightning 
strikes 
me 
back

-Allēna 7/31/2025