I injured my ankle at Linneman’s on Monday due to the severity of my fatigue and I was in bed most of yesterday. I am still very tired because yesterday kicked the hell out of me emotionally. I just… Can’t with this shit. I hope y’all are having a better time than I am..
-Allēna
It is technically spring, even though it’s supposed to be 36° tomorrow, which means it’s my time to shine. It’s been awhile.
-Tindwyl
He did a trans themed set and it went SO WELL. I’m so proud of him 💛
-Allēna
It turns out that the set of keys Emerson made for me didn’t work and he was at school, so my partner and I just chilled out inside and ordered in. She made me laugh so hard at one point that I had a coughing fit and saw stars 🤣
It was a wonderful time and I hope I can see her soon 💛
-Allēna
I had so much fun.
My hands were covered in red paint for a longggg time afterwards…
-Allēna
I posted a video asking about what some guy issues I’ve been having might be being caused by, and the resounding verdict seems to be my gallbladder. So I guess that means greasy food – including the spicy Italian sandwich I got from Subway earlier – should probably be out of the question.
We’ll see.. I am a slut for pizza, and sometimes grease is worth the pain.
I made an appointment to talk about this further with my PCP, and I should be seeing her next week I think.
Wish me luck, I suppose.
-Allēna
When I was a teenager, like 13-15, I was a HOPELESS romantic. I would write fully fledged, and ultimately fully produced and orchestrated songs for my crushes and create massive works of art across a variety of mediums that took months, sometimes years, to complete, at an age when most boys couldn’t be arsed to get a girl flowers unless their mothers or sisters prompted them, ESPECIALLY if that girl scared them shitless.
And I was intense about this art. If someone inspired a piece, they’d probably end up knowing. I was intense about EVERYTHING. I was often the teachers’ favorite, I knew the answers to most questions, I HAD done the homework, I had an excellent memory, and I wasn’t afraid to kick anyone’s ass if and when it came time for trivia in almost any subject. I was a pompous dick about it, too 🤣 I was gonna win by a mile and I knew it. I wasn’t the type of person in high school that guys wanted to date. Be friends with, if they were daring, but not date.
The transition from hopeless romantic to cynic came at about age 16-17 after endless rejections and being told to tone myself down over and over. I began to hate my happy, romantic side. After one final diplomatic rejection from the guy I had written “My Island” about and being told to tone myself down one final time, I marched into my long term hairstylist’s office as soon as she was free and told her to cut all my damn hair off and give me the pixie cut I’d desperately wanted since my headmate Castor had cut our hair short like that when he was 10. I buried the rest of my sentimentality with that haircut, too, and started playing my cards close to my chest.
I still wrote huge things for my crushes, but that, too, stopped after I wrote my album The Places We Come Home To in 2018 for my first husband when I was 20.
I hated it so viscerally that it took two years to release a proper follow-up to it, Light on the Final Day, and I had written that record a few months BEFORE most of Places ever occurred to me.
It would take nearly three years after that for us to release any kind of proper follow-up to Light on the Final Day, something broke in me so badly. And it wasn’t even really me that wrote any of it, Metacognition (2023) is Eight’s masterpiece.
And for someone used to writing and recording several records a YEAR, this devastated me.
It’s taken being in several lovely partnerships to get me to uncover a FRACTION of that sentimentality. I still really can’t write happy things without cringing or feeling sick, but I’m getting there. I’m immensely grateful for their patience while I unfuck myself.
-Allēna
It’s inspiring me to write more over time.
I’ll keep y’all posted as more things happen.
-Allēna
