“paper mind” – written 12 march 2018 by Allēna

write something
anything
there’s cerebral spinal fluid
where some of my
brain used to be
and it’s one of the many
possible scapegoats
to blame
for why i am like this

humor me for a moment
picture a house with a single
flap for receiving letters

one letter enters
	
you don’t want the letter
you set it on fire

(but they’re like a hydra)
(the more letters you burn)
(the more come pouring in)

	so you get more letters
	and burn them
	until you are suffocating 
	in them

my brain did that a decade ago
i remember the very first thought
it found a girl beautiful 
and the panic set in
the letters poured in
and i drowned in thoughts like paper

the mind full of paper has become 
the paper mind
people and places like wind
blow through it and blow it open

write something
anything
do not burn this paper mind
though you can do so quickly

quickly
		quickly				

           still