Egad, what a joyous day it is to have eyeballs on the Internet. I make Things and contend with Ailments. Welcome to chaos. Hehe.
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That feeling when November.
I fucking hate Christmas. -Allēna
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“un-lotused”
I’ve never been one to meditate on regretsof paths not taken, universes unexplored,for my regrets are few – when I want something, I show up for it,I find a way to it or I make oneand the primrose path to success builds upon itself I would far rather meditate on failures,iterations where everything when wrong…
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I found this gem from 9/20/2022 in our Google Drive.
I am longing for longing’s sakeI’ve struggled to let my heart want what it wants for so long that I’m going to let whatever haunts it haunt me. And fuck, I want so much. there’s a man back east mysterious and strange fascinated by everythingI think he may have been thirteen the first time I…
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“paper mind” – written 12 march 2018 by Allēna
write somethinganythingthere’s cerebral spinal fluidwhere some of mybrain used to beand it’s one of the manypossible scapegoatsto blamefor why i am like thishumor me for a momentpicture a house with a singleflap for receiving lettersone letter enters you don’t want the letteryou set it on fire(but they’re like a hydra)(the more letters you burn)(the more…
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“haunted tape” by Eight, 10/10/2021
you may want me deadand sundered into piecessmaller than grains of sandbut you’ll never tell and I will never know such is the punishment for twenty hoursof touch that is torture in hindsightsuch is the punishment forshattering a fragile peaceand believe me, if I could destroymyself that utterly don’t you think I would have already?…
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Well, I finally got over my odd fear of performing anything from Field Notes last night at Poet’s Monday.
I performed “samson” and “rehoboth” (not shown). The fundraiser mentioned in the video and caption is here. -Allēna
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“answer”
I could ask my body what will I do when it has fallen and regardless of which side I try and coax, pry, cajole, or beat an answer from –the deaf side or the silent one, the answer is always the same: it already has. sixteen percent of my brain died before I was a…
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We did blackout poetry in workshop today. This is what I came up with:
-Allēna
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“quizás // unmaking” – 17 April 2023
maybe I’ll write about the thingsI want nobody else to know aboutin codelong after I get home – or maybetime will burn the pages of my diary make me ozymandias, and sand and hate will clear my namefrom everything and everyone I made to make way for birch trees and the wheat field behind your…