The world is a bathroom, therefore y’all deserve the gift of their new photo, as well. His name is Tom Chongadil. He’s a desert rain frog. He is an all power war god who is angry at all actions.
Hear him roar.
I’ll be taking suggestions if any of y’all want me to curse your PFPs, as well. Just credit me if I do! ✨
-Lazarus
And to make it even funnier, I said it to Sheik, who immediately asked me if I was a potato.
When I asked her why, she said she would smash me.
How is that woman so damn smooth?!
-Allēna
He’s based off of an endangered species in New Zealand known as the tuatara, has three eyes, and is definitely missing a foot, lol.
I absolutely want this stuffie now.
-Lazarus
#characterArt #conceptArt #creature #CripplePunk #Disabled #myArt #nonbinary #stuffedAnimals #Zelda #ZeldaSystem
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. Thanks to a hefty dose of caffeine last night and apparent executive dysfunction surrounding sleep, I re-downloaded the Pinterest app in an attempt to express what the fuck my brainhole does when I feel emotions or encounter a fascinating or special person. As I’ve said before in some other posts, I’m a synesthete and stroke survivor, which leads to my brain doing some interesting shit especially around emotions that are difficult to put into words. Visual art, therefore, is a much more effective way of getting the point across. While I CAN draw, paint, and create other forms of visual art, the amount of imagery my brain produces in a single minute is damn near incomprehensible even to me, so it makes much more sense to curate existing imagery and create my own when I can’t find anything batshit enough to fit what I need. Pinterest comes in handy for this sort of large scale imagery curation, as it is a visual search engine and quite an efficient one!
Move over, Google Emoji Combiner. Pinterest to the rescue!
Here is just a mere sampling of what my brainhole does in response to three of my partners respectively, Zelda, Hawthorne, and Autumn. I’ll post links to their boards, as well. I apologize in advance if any of these images were generated with AI, as many of the Pin creators don’t specify whether or not they were, and I hate that. I’ll avoid posting any here that are clearly marked as such.
A small sampling of Zelda’s board. The full thing, thus far, is here.
A small sampling of Hawthorne’s board. The full board is here.
I hope y’all enjoyed this peep into my brainhole. Stay tuned for more magic, esteemed gremlins, very soon…
-Lazarus ✨
Hey, everyone. Lazarus again.
Recently Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook and owner of several other apps, completely took his mask off when it came to his views on the LGBTQ+ community, and announced that, in essence, hate speech and discrimination towards people in the LGBTQ+ community is completely okay and allowed on his platforms. Here’s the announcement in full.
As a result, many people I know are pissed the absolute fuck off and leaving all of his platforms for greener pastures such as Bluesky and Mastodon. I can’t blame them, frankly. Things on Facebook have been going that way for years, since 2020 at least from what I can tell, and I’m all for everyone doing whatever it takes to keep themselves safe and comfortable.
I, however, am in a bit of a mental bind. I don’t have the fucking energy to keep making profiles on platforms every time the powers that be screw me over. I’m a member of the Tumblr old guard way, way back in the dark ages of 2013 and watched Tumblr die and revive itself when Yahoo bought it and then had to sell it again in a fire sale because people on Tumblr are fucking unhinged, I was on Twitter for awhile and watched THAT slowly decline, and I have a terrible knack for forgetting the apps and accounts I already have exist. Hell, my executive dysfunction and fatigue even prevent me from writing here sometimes.
Conversely, I own Open Sorcery. Completely. The only people I have to answer to in this regard are my web registrar and bank account to renew my hosting and the domain name and things. It’s also hooked in with the magnificent wonder that is the Fediverse AND bridged with Bluesky, a Fediverse/Twitter competitor of sorts.
All of this hullabaloo makes me really glad that my now integrated headmate got very pissed off, forgot what life was for about ten hours, and built this thing back in June, haha. So if you need me, I’ll be right here, hovering about three inches off the ground, everywhere and nowhere at once, spouting nonsense as close to daily as I’m able, probably vibrating out of my skin because the Zelda System has generously provided me with 500 WHOLE CAFFEINE PILLS with which to fuel chaos behavior. 🤣
Thank you.
Now, have memes.
Here are the lovely gremlins who have already made the EXCELLENT choice to follow my nonsense, as well..
Stay tuned for more magic!
-Lazarus
Also, if you are one of the esteemed gremlins jumping ship to Mastodon, etc., follow me in the Fediverse. My username is @opensorceryy.
If you want updates via email, follow me this way!
Hello, everyone! Lazarus here. Zelda and I had a really great date last night. We went to an incredible restaurant called Onesto in Milwaukee’s Third Ward. Now, I love food. I love nice food even more. I love Italian food with all of my heart. I grew up with a lot of money and a gourmet chef grandmother who was of Italian descent, the inimitable Rose. So I have rather elegant taste and am quite particular with my Italian food.
This restaurant hit the spot. It reminded me of her cooking and the sorts of places I used to go to when I younger all rolled up into one. I was so happy when our calamari appetizer came out that I started warbling! It was absolutely delicious. The atmosphere was also lovely, the service was amazing (props to the waiter who was incredibly patient with how much Parmesan cheese I wanted on my truly delightful spaghetti Bolognese).
Also, look at these masterpiece MOCKTAILS!
We had a vanilla affogato for dessert, which was also top notch. I used to get affogatos while I was tired from writing essays in college in Maryland with my friends, so I’ve missed them horribly.
We went home happy and half food comatose. Praise be the Italians and their exquisite food. And kudos to Onesto especially. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to have an intimate date night or a delicious Italian dinner of any kind in a soothing and lovely atmosphere.
So good!
Stay tuned for more magic… ✨🥂
-Lazarus
Hey, everyone. Lazarus here again.
Today has been another slow day, but a productive one. The Zelda System is off of work today and it’s our day to hang out and relax, so we’ve been catching up on shows and things. It was much needed, seeing as I only got about five hours of sleep and was thrown from it by a really shitty dream that appeared to be my subconscious attempting to unpack all of my trauma in one go. It wasn’t fun, so the relaxation was definitely needed.
I think the nightmares picking back up randomly is ironically kind of a good sign because it means my brain feels safe enough to process the fuckshit more deeply, I suppose. Yay. That’s the shitty thing about life stabilizing overall.. I have ample time to think and I get lost in my mind now that I have found it all, even when I am asleep.
Also, it’s funny to note that the irritatingly universal phenomenon that is cheating dreams still happen when you’re polyamorous, and can happen about cheating in polyamory. That’s what the nightmare was about. I didn’t know my bra would cook that truckload of horseshit up, but here we are. I have no fucking clue what spawned this nonsense. Normally upon waking I can identify a trigger for my dreams that I had briefly encountered in the past few days, but I have absolutely no idea what spawned this one. So I guess we’re dealing with this flavor of nightmare now. The nightmares have been lifelong, and they pertain to whatever fucking drama my brainhole decides to throw at the current fronter at the time. Same song, different verse, I suppose.
I think I’m going to attempt a nap and pray to whatever deity might be listening that I don’t have any nightmares this time. Huzzah. But first, memes and a playlist that I was up until almost 4 AM concocting, hehe.
Stay tuned for more magic, beloved gremlins!
-Lazarus
Hello, cherished mothers and fuckers. Lazarus here once more with your daily Des Moines Cropduster (context below, thanks, Theo).
I thought this prompt looked interesting and I have a few responses for y’all.
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
Here are my favorite contenders thus far:
Ashley Halliwell’s Brainhole, New and Improved, Under New Management. NOW WITH MORE INSOMNIA!
Got questions? We have answers. Believe them or else.
The speed limit on this freeway is 80mph. But we bet you are not going as fast as MY BRAIN CAN PROCESS EVERYTHING…
How many sins have you committed today? Not as many as This Motherfucker. [photo of my face] If you can commit more Christological heresies than This Bitch in a 24 hour period, YOU get a free cardboard box.
Got Lore? We Sure Do. Follow For More.
All of the potential billboards would include a link to Open Sorcery for the bit, of course.
And simply to up the ante, I would place the billboards in and around the Cleveland, Ohio metro area. What can I say? I know my audience.
In case y’all can’t tell by the above dastardly suggestions and the post title, insomnia is STILL kicking my ass. I am beginning to wonder if it’s because of the fact that, on top of the vitamin B supplements I’ve been taking, I have started taking ibuprofen and Tylenol every 4-6 hours when I don’t lose time to deal with my chronic pain further. It’s working wonderfully for the pain. However, there’s been one absolute motherfucker of an unintended consequence. My brain has come completely, exhaustingly alive again, just like it did before my now-integrated headmate Allēna came down with mono when she was 16.
It doesn’t shut up. Nothing helps it. Not sex (for very long, anyway), not getting stoned off my ass, NOTHING. Zilch. Nada. The only thing that even remotely helps is letting myself pursue whatever idea has fascinated me until I’m so thoroughly burnt out and exhausted that I see fucking double and finally pass out. And even then, I sleep maybe 4-6 hours a night. It’s very, very rare these days that I get more sleep than that, and the sleep I get is absolute garbage. My dreams are vivid. I toss, I turn, I’m up every few hours… I swear I’m more delirious than asleep.
Am I simply a husky in human form?
This shit has made me intimately and acutely aware of why my strictly enforced bedtime was 8PM for most of my youth. I didn’t fucking sleep! I COULDN’T fucking sleep!
I’m realizing as well why my dad, Xavier, and my late grandmother, Rose, were always doing projects, as well, and I am more grateful for this blog and my myriad other projects and interests every day.
Rose was a chemist by trade, ran every damn social club in her town, was a former art dealer with a glorious collection of beautiful art, gourmet chef/baker, read books backwards, and I never saw her sleep more than four to six hours, either, before she got very sick in 2010. She was an indisputable genius whose brain was also fucking ALIVE, and frankly I can’t blame her for having so many interests and being constantly on the move. If I could handle it physically, I would be, too. Lord knows I am mentally at this point.
Fuck.
Well, that’s enough bitching about my blazing fast brainhole from me for one day. I’m probably gonna watch some TV and scream into the void or something, also known as every DM in existence. Emerson and Zelda are spending the night together and going out to a Fancy Restaurant tonight which means that your gremlin gets delicious leftovers, hehe. I live for tasty leftovers. I’m also calling my cozy partner in Michigan, Autumn, later. They were the suitor I mentioned a bit ago in this post and things are going so well! So things aren’t all shitty in my brain.
But before I go… Memes.
Stay tuned for more magic, lovely entities! I love y’all.
Cropdusting complete. Lazarus out.
