Open Sorcery is the world of Lazarus Halliwell.

Excellence and batshittery, done on purpose.

I’m Lazarus. I make art, music, poems, plays, and magic for the quiet, brilliant, broken ones. If this is you, welcome home. I adopt your kind.

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More about me here.

Please note that, with rare exceptions, any and all names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms except our own. We want to be able to speak freely without doxxing anyone.

Allēna left this poem collecting dust in our notes app, and frankly I think it’s illegal to just leave it there.

So here y’all go. She can yell at me later, I don’t care. It’s worth it.

I eat, I sleep, I feel my grief deep
I want to cry, I want to scream
But there are times it seems
I can't remember how to speak anymore

One time I dreamt you stared at me
Slack jawed as I was carried
On broad shoulders through a revolving door
And I hate to say it but I think
That's the kindest I can recall
Your eyes ever beholding me
And I don't ever want more than
The simple vindication of your
silent cry matching mine
All those nights years before

You don't know me, you never did
I never wanted you to
You were more in love with the bathroom mirror image of me
Than who I really was at my core

But I go on, I mock you now
The jokes practically write themselves
You're snowed in while I fly free
Not yours, never yours, not even close -
Not anymore

-unnamed notes app poem by Lēna, posted by me (Castor)

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